A Disorder Hidden Deep| ADHD
It’s the mental disorder you didn’t know you’ve always had
It’s all the signs you didn’t know to see
The creativity, the lulls, utter chaos, keys in the fridge, the yearning moments of solitude, the next project, alongside 1001 other projects — still in flight of course
It’s the returning to the flat three times, just to make sure you did in fact lock the second lock, the lists, so many lists… of all types and variety
Refusal to make promises as one could never keep them. Without knowing why
The don’t touch me please, the occasional incredible moments of pure rage, yes that’s why I interrupt you when we talk — not only because I am rude
I am never on time, but aren’t we all? A multitude of alarms and reminders on my phone — because I forget — and I don’t want to.
Sometimes I want to forget, need to forget
I lose track of time and space when am with you, I love you intensely and I hate you intensely, I think intensely, I analyse intensely, I feel intensely, I hurt intensely.
I am selfish and I am sorry, because I’ve hurt you again.
I am amazing, I am your social Jedi — I am broken, I need fixing and by fixing I mean, please, please leave me alone now.
Author: Stacy-Ann Sinclair