“Jacob Rothschild Is Now Banking Beyond the Grave…”
As the world mourns the loss of Jacob Rothschild, a titan of finance and philanthropy, the afterlife gears up for an economic revolution like never before.
Rothschild, whose earthly endeavors reshaped the landscapes of banking, art, and philanthropy, is now set to apply his Midas touch to the economy of the hereafter.
In an exclusive interview with Celestial Business Weekly (CBW), Rothschild shared his ambitious plans for the afterworld’s first-ever investment bank, “Eternal Equity.”
With a chuckle, he remarked, “It’s quite a different ball game here.
The currency is good deeds, and the stock market is all about karma points. But the fundamentals of good investment remain the same: diversify, diversify, diversify.”
Eternal Equity’s first major move is to launch a “Heavenly Hedge Fund,” focusing on angel investments in startups that promise to make the afterlife even better.
Think cloud-based (literally) computing and harp tuning services.
Rothschild is also eyeing the lucrative market of reincarnation insurance, ensuring that one’s next life is as financially secure as the last.
Rothschild’s venture has not gone unnoticed by other celestial beings. In an unprecedented move, historical figures like Mayer Amschel Rothschild, the founder of the Rothschild banking dynasty, and even Midas himself have expressed interest in joining the advisory board of Eternal Equity.
This powerhouse of financial wizards is poised to ensure that the afterlife’s economy thrives under their stewardship.
Critics, however, question the need for such an institution in a realm where material wealth holds no real value.
But Rothschild, ever the visionary, argues that “even in eternity, there’s a place for growth, innovation, and, yes, a bit of healthy competition.”
As Rothschild adapts his earthly expertise to the economics of eternity, one thing is clear: the afterlife is about to get a lot more interesting.
And with “Eternal Equity” at the helm, Jacob Rothschild continues to prove that not even death can slow down a true financier.
CONTEXT: https://www.theguardian.com/business/2024/feb/26/lord-jacob-rothschild-dies-87
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