Is it right or wrong?
I bet that this is the question you obsessively ask yourself whenever you have to make a hard decision. But my dear, I have to tell you that such question is wrong itself. It’s never right or wrong for any decision makings.
Let take an example.
There was a time when you were jobless, frustrated and tired. Then you got an offer. Wonderful! It was the end of endless negative feelings. It was the start of a new bright day. Happy!
But after 1 month of employment, you started to feel “maybe it’s not that good, maybe it does not fit, maybe I just need to be more careful and patient to choose what I want to do with my life, and maybe it’s wrong to make the decision so fast.” Some days, you completely made up your mind to give up and look for a new one. Others, you were an emotional wreck, terrified that you were again making a wrong decision. What if you get bored? What if the next one does not the right one for you? What if the future looks dark? What if? What if? What if? And then there were even those days when your mind resisted all attempts to make any kinds of decisions at all.
Don’t you see? It’s never right or wrong. It might be right at this time, and might not at another. So, never ask yourself that question. It won’t take you to anywhere. Instead, aware that the issue isn’t about choosing another job, it is about a fear of making wrong decision in your life.
It’s important to make good decisions. But I spend much less time and energy worrying about “making the right decision” and much more time and energy ensuring that any decision I make turns out right.
The risk of being wrong overemphasizes the moment of choice and loses sign of everything that follows. Merely selecting the best option does not guarantee that things will turn well in the long term, just as making a sub-optimal choice does not doom you to failure or unhappiness. Remember: It’s what happen next (in the days, months and years that follow) that ultimately determines whether a given decision was right. It is better, hence, to focus on the effort that will be required after your decision. Such efforts not only help to see the means by which any choices might be succeed, they also restore your sense of agency and reminds you that while randomness plays a role in every outcome, your locus of control resides in our day-to-day activities more than in our one-time decision.
We can’t always make the right decision, but we can make every decision right.