When 2015 began, i was a few months into an unsatisfying school year. Like the last school i was in, keeping awake was the largest problem. The Summit School was possibly the most compassionate, comforting, and understanding place i’ve ever been to. Not only that, the teenage animosity that defined Marvelwood was finally gone. And yet, I wasn’t doing well. I never synced well with Summit despite the place being the best hope for me getting into college and entering society. On reflection, I should have accepted the offer of a modified schedule. The commute became too taxing to accept anything other than boarding life. I would then end up back in Beekman School, the place i’d left like a shamed rat just a year before, to complete my degree in a few months. I “cheated” on my final exams.
The best part about 2015 were the SAT Prep Sessions I had with a tutor named John Roberts. He was tall, fat guy with a nice haircut and a great smile. We’d do unorganized SAT work while talking about politics, society, and the plight of New York City’s unfortunates. Unlike most twitter social democrats, he was no virtue signaler. He’d occasionally talk about his experience of helping poor minorities rise up and take their place as leaders or at least have a chance to be in leadership. Whether it’d be free test prep or academic mentoring, he’d always walked the walk. Our relationship didn’t fade in the best of circumstances. After getting a lower score, I told him (honestly from my point of view) that my dad would find further lessons untenable. The last time I spoke to him was on the phone. My Dad had never received an important email, and it froze from there. I still miss having a sense of routine in New York. Whether it is the taxi rides back home or the 4 train to 86th Street. Routine is another commodity in life. Its been a lot better since coming to Hong Kong. But as the vacation is waning, sleep patterns has become nearly as dysfunctional and shitty as it was in New York. I have to go back soon, so its going to be a another fake challenge.
The worst part of 2015 was and is emptiness. With no routine, isolation became a larger fact of life. Becoming healthy became much more of a hassle, and felt incompatible with an unpredictable body. Moreover, the rut was starting to reassert itself. This is compounded with underemployment. Working for my dad, a process I thought would help me, ended up becoming a boring drag. This contributes to many tenuous arguments. My second stint was much better, but there is no permanent work.
I hope to go back to New York and set out what I need to do. One day, i’ll have to decide whether or not I want to go to College. Meanwhile, I hope the T Shirts sell well (they probably won’t) Here is to a good 2016.