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One time in Jss1, my mother scrubbed my vagina so hard, I couldn’t pee for four days. Until today, that was the single most painful moment of my life. A knife went through my right thumb this evening, like, straight through. Entered from my nail and came out through through the fleshy part. I can feel the pain in my brain.

I feel like I should explain the vagina scrubbing thing. When I was younger, my mum always complained that I didn’t spend enough time in the bathroom, that I probably didn’t clean myself well. In a bid to prove her wrong, I spent more time than normal in the bathroom one day and my mum walked in and saw me playing with water and was convinced that I had a very poor hygiene. So she went to our shop, got two large local sponges, the ones made from fiber and scrubbed my whole body crazily especially my vagina. She scrubbed it so much, I had a deep cut and I had to walk bowlegged. I even overheard my grandma tell my mum in Yoruba that it was too much.

I remember that it was four days because I used the school toilet on Friday during the intro tech period because I couldn’t hold the urine anymore. Passing the urine was such excruciating pain. It felt like someone was cutting up my vagina from the inside with the sharpest razor blade ever.

It's crazy how ridiculous this story seems now because I can't imagine being unable to ease myself even for a day. 
I typed all of these with my left thumb because, you know, my right thumb is causing the greatest pain of my life. How nice.

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