My Name is Latham and That is What You May Call Me

I am currently wrapping up my second semester at the University of Northern Colorado. My experience thus far is a drastic improvement from the last three years spent at a competing university. My class sizes have decreased by half if not more, my professors are reasonably accessible outside of the classroom without waiting in a line for over thirty minutes, and my participation is rewarded instead of my entire grade being based upon a few exams. This semester surprised me with a new experience I never thought I would have — especially in education:

It was the second day of courses for the fall semester and it was the last period of my new set of classes, as we have a block schedule. The enrollment for the class far outnumbered the available seating for the room we were meeting in, forcing the drove of students to sit uncomfortably close to one another. The teacher introduced herself and announced that she would begin taking roll. I looked around the room at the number of kids present and realized this was going to be a lengthy process.

Side Note: I have never understood why college professors insist on taking roll during the first week of classes, half of those students will change their schedule and not return. The first week is known as “syllabus week” for a reason, and attendance is a complete waste of everyone’s time. Actually, I don’t really understand taking attendance in college at all, but alas I digress.

Okay, so where was I…oh yes, the teacher had just announced she was going to take attendance. But, that’s not the only decision she decided to announce. She continued with the following disclaimer:

“Some of you we are just going to have to change your name because, let’s be honest, your parents didn’t do a good job picking one that matches your face.”

At that moment, I instantly felt my emotions start to change. I knew that she was going to get to my name, and insist on changing it. How did I know? Because, the success rate of people pronouncing my name correctly on their first try is lower than the admission rate into Harvard University. I have spent countless minutes teaching people how to pronounce my name correctly. After they learn my name, I still have to spend additional time reinforcing my name to people who never seem to catch on, as they constantly ask me, “What’s your name, again?” Interestingly enough, I seemed to be the only student in class that did not find this proposed name-change delegation humorous. Everyone else laughed along and giggled as if the teacher had just transformed into some well-acclaimed stand-up comedian.

The teacher decided that she was going to start at the bottom of the attendance list, going in reverse alphabetical order. This meant that my name would come up sooner rather than later. She started to work her way up the list, and every now and again informed a random student that they were going to have to accept a new name and asked what their feelings were to her new suggestion. Of course, not a single student turned her down. One student even joked along, telling her how correct she was in that he “did not look like a David…I don’t know what my parents were thinking”.

A few more students went by, and she just nodded along and marked them present. Then, she read my name:

“Latham?” she said in a bewildered tone. “Ya, we are going to have to change that. What do you think about Brandon?”

“How about, Latham?” I responded in the snarkiest tenor I could.

The class was silent. No one said anything. They were all stunned. The teacher to her credit was smart enough not to reengage. The rest of her attendance went on and she continued this little charade until she reached the top of the list, which by that time no one remembered my little protest.

It seems like a silly thing to get upset over; I argue differently. I have a unique name, a name that I’m proud of. I’ve had this name for 24 years and 11 months, which means that I’ve spent all of that time defining who “Latham” is; a job that won’t be complete until I have taken my last breath. My name is much more than just a title, or a way of identifying me. I have never met anyone else with the first name, Latham. I’m sure they exist — but in my world they don’t. You see, originally I was supposed to be named Damian, or Damien (I don’t know how it would have been spelled). After I was born, however, my parents decided that name wasn’t the right fit and changed it to what I have now.

Fast forward 24 years later and some lady, that knows absolutely nothing about me and I have never met before, decides that she is going to judge me on my appearance and determine my worthiness to retain my own name. At the root of this discourse is an issue that I’ve been very vocal about over the last couple of years. People need to let other people be whoever they want to be without trying to change or guide them differently. Why so many people waste their only non-renewable resource on this planet passing judgement and trying to push people into something they don’t want to be, is beyond my comprehension. I have a lot of pride in the things that I have accomplished, various accolades in sports, success in academics, relationships that I wouldn’t trade for anything, and opportunities that I still want to leave my mark on. With those positive things comes my toughest learning moments where I’ve failed, been emotionally hurt, and trudged through loss. All of those experiences make up who I am; who Latham is. I will not allow anyone to try to take that away from me.

There is a saying from a well-respected entrepreneur, Gary Vaynerchuk that I have come to love. He says, “Legacy is greater than currency.”

The legacy that I have created, Latham’s legacy, is nothing with a name change. I’m too proud of where I’ve come to start over. So, to that teacher (whom I still have class with) that offered me a new name: you may call me Latham, and nothing else. My legacy is greater than your selfishness and ignorance. Which is why I will continue to spend countless minutes teaching people how to properly pronounce my name and reinforcing it so it’s not easily forgotten. I am who I am. I don’t want anyone trying to change me for their convenience.

Focus on creating your own legacy rather than changing the legacy of others.

Hello, my name is Latham.

What is yours? And….who are you?

I’d love to meet you.