In My Feelings…

I’m generally a NICE person and I love seeing others win but God revealed something to me this week. I give people way to much attention and credit. I put people of a high caliber, above me as if I am nothing. As if I am beneath them and it’s time to STOP. Now this realization hurt my soul because deep down I love rooting people on. I don’t want to become this cold person. I don’t want to become like most of this world but I need to see myself as I see celebrities and especially others who are honestly just like me but portray as if their life is super amazing on social media.

So this all began 12/14/16. I received an email from someone in the natural hair industry that I look up to. This person is someone almost everyone wants to be like. I share everything she does because I feel she is super inspiring and motivating especially to women of color.

She decides to set up a retreat for 2018, I was SO excited to finally meet her and especially attend the retreat.

Once she releases the information regarding the retreat I find out that we must apply to attend. So I apply. I REALLY felt like I should be there! Within an hour of her releasing the site to apply I was there, my application was submitted within that hour and it was done. I was super happy. I just knew I would be picked to attend but then there was this little voice in the back of my head saying, “she won’t pick you, this first come first serve is all a lie”.

This person is super amazing but has sort of an ego, sort of a, I am the ish and I’m on Oprah level kind of social media attitude.

Well 3 days pass and I finally get the email that states if I will be able to attend the retreat.

“Thank you again for your interest in TheRetreat. Unfortunately, spaces went faster than anticipated and TheRetreat is now at capacity.”

WHAT!!! I thought!? I was so hurt!!

Now why am I in my feelings?

Well this person is very inspirational. Someone with the nice car, the nice home, a great business, a fab life. But at that moment I felt so beneath her. I felt as if she feels above others and only values an elite kind of person. What really made me upset was that they stated that they were choosing people on a first come first serve basis but I felt that was a lie! This person stated that the list filled up within hours. I know I was at least in the top 50 because I sent my application in within 43 minutes of the site opening. Not hours.


  1. All applications were reviewed on a first come first serve basis. (That’s a lie because I know I was in the top 100)
  2. If you received the “at capacity” (a lie, they CHOSE who they wanted to attend) letter, you have actually been WAITLISTED. We are in the process of trying to secure more space for you (A LIE) and we will know exactly what we can make happen after the holidays.

This is what really upset me. Keep Reading.

  1. I personally read through every single application and I was looking for three things:
  2. Does this person feel like they BELONG at the table?
  3. Does this person bring something to the table?
  4. Will this person take the things that they have learned and share them with others who can’t quite make it to the table?

After reading this I grew more upset. I felt YES To all of this but you determine by my application that I DON’T belong at this table! Really! I mean this person already has the persona of someone who is above others but what makes you think that you can make the decision of who deserves to attend. Ok, that was a little crass because this IS actually her retreat but this really upset me. Who plans a retreat, tells the whole world, and then decides to make it exclusive. Why not just invite your closest friends! Why even plan a public retreat!

So my thing is this, if you knew you only wanted a certain kind of person attending why not just say it was an EXCLUSIVE event. Why get people all excited and happy just to make it exclusive. There was no first come first serve its all about who YOU THINK deserves to attend. Yes I know it’s your event but it’s not fair to mention the event, get everyone all excited to finally be in the presence of someone we look up to only to say, OH, you can’t come if you’re not the shit.

I know you’re probably thinking, GET OVER IT! But here is my point. We give these people so much credit, so much attention, and they see many of us as beneath them all because they have a certain status, caliber, and height in the industry. I am so tired of us thinking so low of ourselves and thinking too high of people who could careless about us. It’s time to start thinking of ourselves as more than what we do. It’s time to put more faith in our abilities instead of others. I know you hear me! I know you know exactly what I am talking about!

Don’t change the person you are just change how you think about yourself. God gives the same ability he gave this person, Oprah or anyone else. And to be honest we are probably more level headed, smart, and more of the shit than these people we look up to. It’s time we ACT LIKE IT and BELIEVE IT! Stop putting your belief into others and start putting it into yourself.

If you liked this story (even a little), please click the little heart below. It will help other people read it, and it will mean a lot to me.
Latoija Jones is the CEO & Founder of Natural Encouragement, LLC. Co-Creator of the #1 Selling Natural Hair Product for 4c Hair, The Curl Smiler, established in 2015. Sold over 18000 units its first year! She strives to be an inspiration to those who feels overlooked and unhappy with their life. She feels that no one is perfect yet we are all AMAZING and deserve to be seen as so not only by others but also by the one and only, YOU. She can be reached Product are available at Reviews of product can be seen on Instagram @TheCurlSmiler and also on Instagram @HappilyNaturalCurls.

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