Writing Lessons I’ve Learned from Turning 30

I dreaded my birthday in August. I didn’t want to turn 30. I didn’t want to face the milestone and reflect on all the things I haven’t done yet. Writing wasn’t going well. I had way too many obstacles the first half of the year. And I felt behind.

It’s not fun to start a new decade feeling guilty for unfinished projects and unmet goals.

So I decided something needed to change. I had been trying to write, but often gave in to the challenges and told myself to try again the next day. First wrong choice.

Then I would work on the “important” tasks for most of the day and leave writing at the end of my list. Second wrong choice.

I was pushing aside a part of my identity, the piece of myself I had forgotten to love and nurture. By the time I was ready to begin, I was tired and worn out. Where were all those words? Why weren’t they coming to the surface?

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I woke up on my birthday and I knew I would write something that day. I was determined. I needed to start over again and this was a kind of new beginning.

I wrote weekly throughout that month. It felt good. Words were coming back to me and ideas flowed in between blog posts. I had found my excitement, my joy, my love of sharing stories.

But then September came and the wave of writing crashed. The consistent river of words dried up faster than I imagined it would.

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A thing called “work” pulled me away from the task of telling. Now was the time for creating, but not with my own words. I helped others bring their designs to life…because I’m a graphic designer. That is my current job. Writing is what I do “on the side”. No one pays me yet so I unconsciously let myself believe it is less important. It has to be done later, after those projects for my clients.

Where did this belief come from? Why am I listening to something mainstream culture screams at me?

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September was a busy month. Every week disappeared with no writing time. I missed it. I needed it. Words built up inside me. But they would not come out when I finally tried to write. I stared at the screen. I closed the computer and opened a notebook. I picked up my mechanical pencil. Nothing happened. They were stuck.

Everything in me wanted to write, but it would take more coaxing, more focus, and more trying earlier in the day.

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I’m only a couple of months into my 30th year, but I have already learned a few lessons. And it’s October and I’m ready to put these into practice.

Lesson #1: Write first. As a freelancer, I determine my schedule. I will be more efficient and better focused on my design projects if I work on a little writing first.

Lesson #2: Work within my natural bursts of energy. This might mean a flexible writing time. The important part is to do something related to writing every day.

Lesson #3: Writing doesn’t just have to be the typing of specific blog posts or continuous time spent on a work-in-progress. I count the brainstorming, the planning, the meeting with fellow writers, and some days the reading as research. All of it has to be done. That is a writer’s life…the preparing, the nourishing, and the giving of stories.

Lesson #4: Find a way to balance daily responsibilities with the pursuit of a dream. Writing is in my soul now. I can’t go back to the me who didn’t write, to the shy little girl who never wanted to be a writer.

All of this has reminded me that I’m more of a writer today than I ever have been. I couldn’t have said the same thing last year or even two months ago as a twenty-something closing one decade and welcoming another.

I just knew I wanted to carry writing with me into my 30s.

So the decade I longed to delay pushed me back to a dream I desire. To be a writer. All the time.

I’m here to write, to keep learning, to practice over and over, and never give up.