i’M nOt LiKe OtHeR gIrLs: the roots of internalized misogyny

Internalized Mysogyny: When an individual woman or group of women practice sexist behaviors and/or attitudes towards themselves and other people of their own sex.

That’s the official definition at least, however. a more informal version looks like this:

Internalized Misogyny :

“I’m one of the guys” ,

“I don’t hang out with other girls ‘cuz they always start drama”,

“ am I the ONLY girl who isn’t a slut?

(inserts generic comparison of two sets of feminine vs masculine traits) WE ARE NOT THE SAME SIS,

“assuming I was like most girls was your first mistake”,

“it feels like I’m the only real girl left”

*quirkiness intensifies*

There’s a ton of jokes about it, and it also always spurs a myriad of questions in its tracks, like how do you even start thinking like that? Did someone teach it to you? Why would you want to put down other women? Women are rad, and what’s wrong with the color pink?

Well, as a nOt LiKe oThEr gIrLs or NLOG syndrome survivor, I’ve recalled all my memories and experiences as a lol quirkier-than-you 8 year old above all other females, and documented. what I’ve found to be the primary ingredients that compose this recipe of pseudo-feminism and regret, so that you wouldn’t have to.

To examine my phase of internalized misogyny, we have to think about what kind of person I, or any other NLOG syndrome sufferer starts out as: A socially awkward, insecure little kid.

See, the funny thing about social interaction is that when you know you’re bad at it, you start to get intimidated by people you wanna be friends with ‘cause you think you’ll screw something up and fail. And the thing about self-esteem is that when you don’t have it, you notice, and start trying to turn insecurities into points of pride.

So a NLOG girl will feel self-conscious about some trait she has, (usually something conventionally masculine or a relatively isolated interest) and because of that start thinking that her female peers won’t like her, or think they’re better, and so she creates both self esteem and a defense mechanism to an imaginary problem by deciding that the traits that make her feel bad actually mean she’s BETTER than all those emotional, vapid, spineless, prissy, brainless, gossipy followers who she definitely doesn’t wish she was close with, Shut up.

Oh, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. The first part is talking about the psychological roots of NLOG syndrome, but there’s still the political half of the sexism souffle that is today’s topic. It ain’t called internalized misogyny for nothing, insecurity and fear might be the roots of NLOG syndrome but without the political side, NLOG sufferers wouldn’t have a tool to feel superior in the first place.

The buzzwords I used when impersonating a NLOG girl in the last paragraph were all stereotypes based on conventionally feminine traits. That isn’t a coincidence, back in ye olden times, (and even now, albeit in subtler ways) women were expected to stay in very specific restrictions of performing femininity. Naturally, feminists pushed back against this, to break gender roles, and to champion female autonomy.

But for some people there’s been a translation error in regards to what activists were fighting against, they thought feminists were rejecting specific ways of existing as a woman rather than the idea that there’s an inherently right or wrong way to be a woman in the first place.

And this weak understanding of women’s empowerment is evident in every staple of the NLOG girls’ ideology, from the generalizations they make to pit themselves against their female peers, to perpetually insinuating that women are one dimensional and can’t have a wide variety of interests, to the dog whistling that if anyone had the gall to be like the other girls and express it would be a bad thing. It’s undeniable that a NLOG-based thought process and feminist ideals can’t exist in the same mind.

In conclusion, if you’ve ever felt judged by a NLOG girl then remember that you’re not the problem. And if you read this and realized that you yourself might suffer from NLOGS, then know that it’s never too late to take a deep breath, face your insecurities head on, and remember that empowered women empower other women.