… im not looking for a gf right now… The Dating Chronicles Part 1.

That seems to be a line I hear all too often or some other slightly different version about us “just being friends”. Well thanks but no thanks. It’s 2017 and while life is no longer black and white, since when did it become either friend or girlfriend after one date? Furthermore, why were you on a date in the first place if you are just looking for some more friends? I’ve been single for almost a decade (that is not an exaggeration because the last real relationship I was in was my junior year of college).

I tend to be attracted to people I can’t have i suppose. The ones who are unavailable — emotionally or otherwise already in a relationship, or hung up on their ex girlfriend or just don’t know how to use their words properly. I think I get stuck on the concept of perfection or the ideal relationship or ideal guy… which is something I can’t make sense of because I do not have a “type”. Side note — this is not about monogamy because I don’t personally feel I will ever be in a successful monogamous relationship.

I am an oversharer (not sure if thats a real word). I am also the person who is often described as “too much” or “very intense” (as described by my mom, friends, ex boyfriends etc). The point of a profile on a dating website… used to be to weed out the people that won’t be a match. Well thats a load of crap, because everyone lies on their profiles. It takes the mystery out of it i guess? Not really though.

Do people go out on real dates anymore? Is there a point in going on a real date? What makes a date real vs. just hanging out? How long do you have to be hanging out for before its hooking up, and how long is the hook up period before it turns into a relationship? AND DOES IT REALLY MATTER IF ITS FACEBOOK OFFICIAL?

I lived in LA for 2016 and i didn’t even bother trying to date or use ANY of the dating apps. They were filled with people I knew and worked with or with a bunch of posers trying to show off how much money they had.

I have been back in New York City for almost a month now and have been told twice “I think we should just be friends” followed by “I am not looking for a relationship right now”. Well thanks bro. I was hoping you could have pointed that out before we spent the entire day and night together and before you let me into your bed or you got in mine. At what point did you realize that? Was it before or after you woke up spooning me? I hate being snuggled and lately I guess I have been kind of okay with it. Did I do something wrong? Did you realize you might ACTUALLY like me? Or did you decide you hate me? Did you not fill me in on one of your pet peeves? Can’t we just enjoy the moment? Those words to me are the equivalent of “It’s not you, it’s me.” — what happened to just being honest?

Next time you are contemplating going home with a girl or bringing a girl home, or anything related to the above… Be upfront before you get her shirt off. Let her decide if she wants to use you the same way you are about to use her. It’s okay to be lonely… just be honest.

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