The Four Month Flurry
It’s mid summer but chances are you already have plans for Labor Day weekend. Summer, sadly, is winding down and autumn is right around the corner. Kids will be back at school. The leaves will begin to turn and just like that, we’re entering the last part of the year.
This also marks the time of year that people start to confront what they haven’t accomplished yet this year or at least, hint hint, they should. Take a look, have you achieved the goals or dreams you designed for yourself back in January?
- Did you lose the weight?
- Find the love of your life or the summer fling you wanted?
- Switch jobs like you had intended?
- Develop a more connected relationship with your mother?
If the answer is no, don’t fret, you have four more months to turn it around!
And, I’m going to show you how.
STEP ONE: MAKE A LIST OF GOALS
What goals did you create at the beginning of the year? What did you swear you were going to make happen? Write down everything you wanted to accomplish this year, but haven’t yet. There could be 10 things on the list or two things. However many (or few), write them down.
If you didn’t make a list this year, fret. Only kidding. Don’t worry. Make your list now. Your goals don’t have to be huge. They could be as small (and sweet) as spending more time on the weekends connecting with your family or as big (and bold) as changing your career. Either way, be realistic (different than pessimistic). You only have a few months to make it happen.
STEP TWO: RATE YOUR GOALS
Now, it’s time to rate how you did with your goals using a scale from 1–10 (1 = never happened and 10 = succeeded!) Go down your list and rate how close you are to achieving your goal or not. Be honest. If your goal was to be engaged before the end of the year and you haven’t had a date in 6 months, 3 weeks and 6 hours, tell the truth.
Your number will be low, but that’s OK.
Telling the truth about your current state is not about bumming you out, it’s about being realistic and knowing where you stand honestly with each of your year-end goals/dreams.
STEP THREE: FIGURE OUT THE FAILURE
In the Handel Method®, we emphasize the importance of having Personal Integrity®, which is the ability to keep a promise to yourself and align your heart (your dream), mind (your plan) and body (your actions) with your dream. When you’re achieving a dream, your heart, mind and body are all working in sync to make that dream come true. If you are not succeeding, more than likely, you are failing in one or more of those areas.
Look at each goal on your list and ask yourself where is the failure, what is missing heart-wise, mind-wise and body-wise?
If your HEART tells you what you want, check if you are broken-hearted with this dream? Do you really want this dream? Do you care? Do you believe you will achieve this dream?
If your MIND tells you how to get it, do you have a solid plan of action for your dream? Have you mapped out how to make this dream happen? Are you smart about your plan?
If your BODY has you do it, are you doing the actions you need to do to make the dream come true? Or are you being lazy?
Once you’ve answered those questions and found where the failure occurred, you can start to see what you need to focus on for the next four months and design your promises, accordingly.
STEP FOUR: EDIT YOUR LIST
It’s time to be fully honest.
Look at your list and see if there is anything you need to take off of it.
After having done all of this investigative work, you may realize that you’re not as committed as you once were to that particular goal or dream anymore. Or, perhaps, you may be so broken-hearted about failing at your goal that you’ve already quit. If that’s the case, it’s time to tell the truth about the failure, be fully accountable for it and forgive yourself.
For example, “I’ve given up on trying to buy a house this year. I didn’t save enough for the down payment. Maybe next year.”
It’s important to own where you have failed and not hide or be embarrassed about it. Take it off the list and let it go for now. You can always look at it again in January. This is, after all, your life and your design. Don’t put anything on your list that you don’t absolutely love and want to make happen now.
STEP FIVE: MAKE A PLAN OF ACTION
Pick your top two goals from your list that you want to achieve by year end. Follow the directions below and create a new plan for how to make the two happen. Remember, this time around, to address all three areas — heart, mind, and body.
a) Make specific promises connected to your goals and dreams.
For example, if you want to fall in love, make promises that dance with that dream, i.e. go to singles events or join an online dating service. And, while you’re at it, not only join (you sneak), connect and email with X number of men/women a week.
b) Implement consequences so you keep your promise(s).
For example, if you don’t go on one date a week, take away something you’d fight to keep your promises for, i.e. you lose your wine on Friday night. You get the idea. Come up with self-imposed consequences that will help you keep your promises.
c) Get a coach or find a buddy to hold you accountable to your promises.
Make sure there’s someone else holding you responsible for your goals/dreams and promises, so you don’t just quit when you no longer “feel like it.”
STEP SIX: CREATE A PICTURE OF YOUR SUCCESS
Lastly, I want you to see yourself in a few months celebrating New Year’s Eve with friends and feeling proud about how you finished the year. Come up with a toast you’re going to make about how you succeeded at your goals this year. Write down the exact scene/scenario, share it with the people in your life and read it daily to keep it fresh in your mind.
Spend the next few months picturing this scene as you go after your goals.