30th Defining Moment

“Ladies and gentlemen, we now move to the twelve-grade level of the speech competition.” The voice from the speakers reverberated around the room. “Please welcome our first speaker to the stage, Alice Ellis.”

The room broke out into polite applause. Alice walked from the audience up the stairs, earrings dangling to her shoulders, heels click-clacking against the floor, towards the middle of the stage. She took her place behind the podium and microphone, and leaned in to speak.

“I forfeit,” she said.

“Miss Ellis,” came the voice from the ceiling. “Are you sure you mean to say that?” A hushed murmur spread throughout the room.

“Yes,” she reiterated. “I forfeit my spot in this competition.”

“Are you aware of the consequences?” came the voice again.

“Yes,” she said, and leaned away from the microphone. Shocked voices from the audience became louder.

“Miss Ellis… why are you forfeiting?” asked the voice from the speakers.

“I have been under a lot of turmoil these past few months, including a death in the family. I tried several times to write this speech, but it only got harder, and the pressure was causing me headaches and severe pain. Finally, I surrendered. I couldn’t do it.”

“But… But…” stammered the voice. “You made it all the way to the stage. You could have stayed home.”

“If you called my name, and I didn’t show up, I would have been disqualified,” she said. “I wanted to be here to clarify. Also, I want to hear my friends’ speeches.”

“Well, thank you, Miss Ellis. That is certainly an unusual choice. You may now sit back down.”

Alice stood tall, bracing against the humiliation of this moment, and turned to the side of the stage. She walked down the stairs, back to her seat in the audience.

After this, she could handle anything.

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Today is thirty days, which are four weeks and two days, of the Omer.

This story was written as part of a 49-day process of counting the Omer. Each day is associated with a pairing of Kabbalistic traits, or sefirot. In the merit of the Omer Count that I have counted today, may there be corrected whatever blemish I have caused in the sefirah Gevurah shebeHod, Judgement within Humility. May I be cleansed and sanctified with the holiness of Above, and through this may abundant bounty flow in all the worlds. And may it correct our lives, spirits, and souls from all sediment and blemish; may it cleanse us and sanctify us with exalted holiness. Amen, Selah!