Being in love or being love.



One of the most abused and misunderstood four-letter words in the human lexicon is ‘love’.

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with it. It is not without reason that poets have eulogised it over centuries. Unfortunately, we by our preferential and selective understanding have distorted its meaning to something that it is not. The inevitable result is struggle, disenchantment and frustration. Therefore, love for most people is a means of fulfilling subconscious and conscious needs. For an infant who turns to its mother for nourishment and protection, the relationship is a matter of physical survival. For children and adolescents who turn to their peers for friendship is often a matter of social survival. For professionals who build relationships with colleagues, the relationship is invariably related to economic survival. For those who invest their lives in romantic relationships, the issues at stake are often of psychological or sexual survival. People may claim that all these are founded on love. However, intrinsically and fundamentally all are transactional, governed by vested interests.

The moment certain expectations are not fulfilled, love evaporates. Indeed, it is often replaced by burning hate or bitter disillusionment.

The fundamental problem is that human beings have based their lives on the fallacy that love involves ‘another’. Based on this limited understanding they create a plethora of relationships. And so you have parental love, romantic love, friend love, God love – even dog or animal love (in my case)!

There is nothing wrong with any of these. It is just that in all of them, cooperation from outside forces is an essential prerequisite. This may be a working arrangement for domestic purposes. But for those who seek a more abiding well-being and freedom, this is highly limited and impoverished idea of love. In eternal fact, love has nothing to do with anyone else.

Love is just the way you are. It needs no external stimulus; it is extremely self-propelled. Love is simply a state of emotion – a state of indiscriminate involvement with existence.


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