Its 3am in the Morning and Feeling Anxious
Here I am again lying awake at 3am in the morning with a head full of thoughts and feeling very anxious and scared. I feel like crying but not able, fell like running away but know that’s not an option, feel like doing a whole bunch of things but anxious about how to get there. Why?
Well firstly it has something to do with an early morning nature call which sometime calls upon me at strange hours. It may be due to my daughter deciding that sleeping with mum and dad for the night is a good idea, and also breakfast and singing nursery rhymes at this time would be fantastic.
The truth is I have a lot going on inside me and it is at these hours of the morning I have many thoughts going on and much clarity, yet this morning I feel lost, scared and lack some hope which gave me the thought to write it down.
So why am I feeling freaked out and anxious? Well first of all I have just finished a most satisfying and unbelievable holiday across the other side of the globe. And after 5 weeks of being absolutely free and enjoying my family, free thoughts, the cultural delights and experiences I have returned home and am faced with that uneasy feeling of reality. Here we go again back to the slog.
Now don’t be mistaken, I love my own bed, my possessions, my neighbours, my country and most of the time my job. But all this only helps slightly with emotions like these and at the time seem to get pushed aside by all other thoughts. Well here are my reasons. First of all I have to get back into routine, health, work, family and all in between. Secondly I have to earn some money so I can continue to live such a great life. And finally I have a bunch of things I need and would like to do around and in-between all this. This is what keeps me awake this morning and what makes me feel anxious and to be honest like escaping back to were they didn’t exist. I know not to feel this way but still struggle from time to time.
I feel like a ship overloaded with cargo and while the destination is known the journey to get there seems, at times, overwhelming and obstructed with fear, stress and pain, so much so that at times the ship seems reluctant to embark. This kind of feeling reeks of pain vs pleasure and the human desire to have immediate satisfaction rather then enduring the pain of delayed gratification, more on that at another time.
If I look at going back to work after such a great trip and getting back into the routine of work/life will I have to remind myself I have done it before, and not only that I have actually done it to the level in which I enjoy it. As far as health well I can safely say, without actual measuring, I have probably put on 10 kilograms in the five weeks away not to mention I lacked the same exercise and healthy eating routine prior to going away. Again I remind myself I have done it before and got my health into shape. The important point I also remind myself is that with a fitness/diet routine I gain better energy, more clarity and find myself faces these kind of challenges with much more ease. The second fear I face is the need to make some money. I am on commissions only so not so easy to slide back into a paying job, I need to put in the hard yards to earn my crust. So while I understand money is not all there is too life, although a bloody major part, to travel again and continue to improve my lifestyle and undertake my passions, hobbies etc. I must earn an income. I also have to support the family in some sense.
I sit back on this and understand the hard work the goes into what I do produces a pretty good income and I can do the work. What I must go into this next period is with a constant reminder the life must get in the way of work; by this I mean I must enjoy other things outside of work. I must also reinforce and back myself that I can do it, its been done before. *I also realise that through a process of elimination at work and in life I can become more effective in the 20% of what I do that’s produces 80% of the results. Life must have a part in my everyday and every week to avoid burnout, fatigue etc.
All the other things and add-ons to my life outside work can be included. I need the clarity everyday to include these without this I know I can loose focus. I need the discipline to do these rather than procrastinate and opt the easier more instant pleasure kind of activities. T.V., drink, food etcetera and so forth. Finding some kind of pleasure in these activities will reinforce the activity and reduce the likely future procrastination. If its not pleasurable well perhaps I just get rid of it or out source it. Continue to work on eliminating wasteful activities I will be able to create more time for these other activities.
By bringing these other things into my daily/weekly disciplines I will balance the work life by way of force and this means that I really must focus on eliminating the wasteful, non-result producing activities at work. Life can be pleasurable this way. I trust this will bring me some motivation to push forward. Without challenge I couldn’t imagine life. I don’t like boredom, I don’t like feeling heavy in the chest, I don’t like feeling like running away or giving up, but without these challenges I couldn’t imagine myself growing and moving forward.
The alternative is a life with a job, some hobbies on the side, T.V. dinners, and getting drunk on the weekends watching repeats of The Simpsons. While life needs to be enjoyed I think learning, growth and self improvement can be rather rewarding which I why I decided to start this blog. I hope you enjoy my banter and ask you to freely leave honest comments, questions or thoughts below.
While I know this will not prevent early morning rises leading to flow of thought, I do hope they lead to more conducive thoughts. Mornings are my best time in the day.
Here are 10 positives from my blog that may just assist when having these feelings:
I am not alone.
I have heard over and over again from many of my long term and short-term hero’s, the people that give me great pleasure in everyday life. That is that even they get in these states. You must understand that you are not alone in feeling this way even the most successful have their lows. The important note here is to rise above it and tackle the challenge head on.
I have been here before.
When you have been there before you know you can do it again. It’s just a matter of starting, being consistent and being fair on your self. Get it the right headspace, break it down, plan it out and take a step.
Challenge leads to growth.
Get out of your comfort zone, it is outside this area were growth and self development occur. When you feel this way it can usually only mean good things. If you were not anxious, nervous, or scared it probably means you don’t really care and are trapped within you comfort zone. If you happy there then by all means continue however I would say majority of people are not happy were they are and have fear of taking action.
Drugs don’t work.
Need I say more. Well yes I do. To gain clarity, energy and focus to get on top of it all I would say avoid drugs in these times. I am by no means against them, well maybe just a couple, but there would be a time and a place. If you know me or have done in the past you would understand that I like a drink. I know from practice that my energy levels drop, my clarify and focus lessen and this means absolutely that I produce less effective and work, I loose energy to do the other things I desire and my over all mood declines. My focus is out the door.
Mood comes through to everyone around you whether you want to admit it or not, people will detect mood over the phone. This weakens relationships and will directly impact you results and desired outcomes. This usually also means I have to work harder at activities with more priority leaving less energy for those other things. It affects the entire deal.
Exercise helps
Much like above. I prefer to get up early and exercise as I find it starts the day of well, gives me blood flow which triggers the brain off, gives me energy and really helps me get clear about what I need to achieve for the day. I know again from practice that days starting without some kind of exercise produce lesser outcomes at the end of the day, strange but true. This could be 5 minutes or an hour.
There are other rituals I follow in the morning that also keep me pumped and motivated which I may go into another time.
Eliminate the unnecessary.
The material by Tim Ferris on elimination is the bomb. Having good time management, being able to prioritise and eliminating the unnecessary really will help lead a better life.
While everyone can have different approaches I fell time blocking your calendar is a great way to bettering your schedule. Again I may go into this at a later time but it basically means blocking out time in your day to do certain activities. For example 8am to 10am may be time for contact clients only, nothing else should interrupt this activity, that way it get your full focus and you be able to be much more productive at doing it.
If you have ever been on the phone to someone and notice his or her level of attention drop even though the conversation continues you can sense a lack of focus. I find myself still doing this from time to time. Not good for either party. Tell them with honesty and compassion you are busy and will call them back.
Listen/read/watch inspirational and motivational material
This has truly changed my life. I cannot go a day with out some kind of fix and like a heroin junkie I am hooked. They give me escape, they reinforce my thoughts, they assist my behaviour, they educate, they inspire, and they are taking over my life in the very best way. If you need some resources I would be happy to help give some examples. I have found mine through friends and by name-dropping.
I think it goes along the line if you read books, listen to audiobooks/podcasts while driving or at the gym over the course of time, 1 year or more depending on the amount it can be equivalent to a university degree. I back that.
Revisit your Visionary Board
This really helps and I remind myself I need to revisit it more. It sets out exactly what I wanted to achieve this year and reinforces these goals. Its pretty, motivational and really gives me my WHY. Why I am going to get back into the game, why I am going to hit this off with a bang, why I am grateful for everything I’ve got.
Lengthy and long
By no means a song
But I hope it helps a few
I am grateful for you
• You can find some inspiring reading and info on those thoughts of ‘elimination’ by Tim Ferriss. Read his book the ‘the four hour work week’ of log on to his blog, fourhourworkweek.com
See more at: http://www.thehiddenwhy.com/It%27s3aminthemorningandfeelinganxious.html#sthash.jXThO52N.dpuf
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