Why Don’t We Train Our Emotions Like Our Muscles?

A Call for Emotional Fitness Training

CCS
CCS
Nov 1 · 4 min read

Recently I had the opportunity to visit the Acropolis in Athens for the first time. Although the sheer enormity of the architectural achievements is awe inspiring, it was the busts and sculptures that made the biggest impression on me. When standing in front of the lifelike faces one becomes humble: the people inhabiting that very spot more than 2000 years ago did not only look exactly the same as our fellow human beings today, we know from the records, that their inner lives are also quite familiar: they experienced the same problems, joys, challenges, successes, failures, disappointments, worries, hardships, needs and fears!

“History doesn’t repeat itself but it often rhymes” Mark Twain

One cannot help but wonder: how come that despite all the evident physical evolution and technical advancements, it seems that the human kind has not evolved one bit when it comes to coping with emotional challenges? As Mark Twain noted “history doesn’t repeat itself but it often rhymes” — and unfortunately, one highly developed civilization after another has managed to destroy itself. Are humans living in the 21st century really more emotionally mature than their ancestors? Are humans today really emotionally fit enough to make better decisions in order to solve the most pressing challenges of our age?

While over many millennia, mostly physical abilities ensured survival, in today’s world of relative peace and automated technology, it is above all cognitive abilities that guarantee humans the optimization and maximization of their lifetime. Additionally however, emotional coping mechanisms play an important role in the self-actualization process. Academic studies have identified that not only physical fitness, intellectual aptness and some socioeconomic factors determine our well-being: it’s rather emotional resilience that lets us tackle life’s hardships and live a happy, content life well into an old age (Viktor Frankl / Grant Study / Blue Zones).

Despite all the challenges to follow a healthy lifestyle in the modern age (“sitting is the new smoking”, “social media the new crack”, etc.) humans in general know (either explicitly or intuitively) that in the end they can only optimize two variables: output (e.g. more physical exercise) or input (e.g. better nutrition). So why is it that we work out our bodies regularly to shape our physical fitness, we read to stimulate our intellect, meditate to calm our soul but are mostly reactive when it comes to growing our emotional aptness? Or simpler: we strengthen our body, mind and soul — why don’t we also strengthen our emotions? Not only reactive (therapy), not only preventive and diffuse (meditation, mindfulness) but precise?

Unfortunately, I can’t offer all the answers but for a start hopefully some better questions as well as some ideas.

What if we had a training regimen for our emotions — a circuit training containing the full spectrum of possible emotional stimuli (just as we train different muscle groups) supplemented by an endurance treadmill (cardio for the emotional nervous system)?

We could imagine a “third place”, like a gym for emotions, a safe environment offering instructions for all age groups by well educated, unbiased instructors and a community of like-minded “athletes”. Exercises could include “The Pre-Meditation of Evils” (Stoicism) and the “Dickens Process” (Tony Robbins). The training regimen would also incorporate all the newest findings related to habit forming, gamification, results tracking and coaching.

The more you think about it, the more questions come to mind:

  • What would an emotional push up, pull up, squat or emotional jogging look like?
  • How should a high intensity interval training for emotions be structured?
  • What would be the minimum effective dose?
  • How could we measure our progress and how could we increase the “weights” and “resistance”?
  • Would a fitness club for emotions only work offline in a brick and mortar environment or could it also work online with a community, instructors and training buddies?
  • Does emotional muscle soreness exist and if so how does it work?
  • Is love sickness a form of emotional muscle soreness?
  • How can we distinguish emotional sore muscles, i.e. a normal and desirable development as in sports, from a serious injury?
  • Is there something like an emotional strain or rupture?

My hope is, that the latest interdisciplinary research in medicine, neuroscience and psychology will help us to not only better understand our emotions and how they work, but also how we can practically strengthen them. The overall goal would be to gain more emotional resilience and even emotional antifragility through regular emotional exercise. In the end it should not only be about the mere survival but rather flourishing of the emotionally fittest: solving the challenges of our age and living a happier and more content life — all without destroying our ecosystem or exploiting other human beings. Perhaps it will even be a reality in the not so distant future that our societal institutions will not only teach a minimal consensus of cognitive abilities, physical workouts and behavioral norms, but will rather proactively train students of all ages to become more emotionally fit and mature — wouldn’t that be true enlightenment?

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