Heart of Fragments

The heart, an ethereal yet strong organ

Keeping everything in flow within

The body of functions and life’s beauty

Of love and the embodiment of peace

Yet, when a heart is seized by loss

Pumping its shattered fragments through

The blood’s flow and striking at the core

To drive the eyes’ dreams to the ruins

It is not she that caused my heart

To cry a thousand tears and more

It is not she who tore the fabric

Of what I felt so very true

I am responsible for my own chaos

Of fear and insecurity that my heart

Could not bear to absorb within

My core and soul that aches for her

I ask myself why and what does it mean

Every second of my inhalation of breath

I demand of myself why could I not be

More patient to see if this love could bloom

She was what I had been searching for

And I agreed with her words on that day

We met for the first time and I was taken

By this beautiful spirit and her depth

She told me that time was not to be wasted

That she was seeking the same as me

Someone full of love and care and connection

A bond so real that it was no accident

Forgive me for wanting so much in time

Forgive me for raising the bar and not

Waiting for the key to slowly turn the lock

The full circle of a clockwise growth

I miss her with every breath that sends

Spirals of aching fragments torn from my heart

To not hold her in my arms or to kiss

Her forehead and her lips is agony

Yet, what can I do when I took my decision

Maybe the signs were there but I was blind

I thought that she so wanted to be free

And yet she became such a part of my life

As I realise what a fool I have been

To throw my reaction of insecurity right

At her like a shock to the heart

Perhaps I hoped to restart her system

Was it better to be beside and with her

Than to run so far away to a place

Where she will probably never seek

To find my heart for her again

If only I could show her what she means

That I believe she is worth the wait

But she writes us off as an ending

Maybe there are no second chances

I listen to the last song that she sent

To me, every day and I kick myself

For letting fear take hold of me

When she was all I really wanted