The sad fact that all trans people must realize, is that none of us can understand the burden that those who grow as the sex we desire to be, have had to carry with them their entire lives.

I will never understand what it would be like to grow up as a man.

I can’t know what it’s like to grow up as a man, because I have never lived through a male childhood.

I can however, know what it’s like to have a female childhood, one where I spent most of my time wishing NOT to be woman. Feeling like I had to hate women to assert my own masculinity and be accepted in my relationships with men. But that doesn’t solve anything, because in the end all I was doing was hurting others and still being treated a collectable item, the “cool” girl. I perpetuated sexism as an attempt to fit in with cis men, but that never stopped them from viewing me as a woman

Furthermore, I don’t think most men, or those raised as men, can presume to understand how painful and frustrating life is for those who were raised as women. I would never assume to tell a cis man, or anyone that appears to be male, that he doesn’t get to have opinions on masculinity. However, I don’t think anyone of any gender is free to avoid critical discussions of both femininity and masculinity. These are issues that need to be discussed by both parties, but everyone involved needs to also understand the perspective from which they are coming from as well.

Plenty of women are overtly hostile and lash out easily when it comes to the topic of feminism and femininity. Can you blame them? The voices of women, regardless of if they were born with a female body or not, are rarely acknowledged and are disregarded by even those that they are close to, simply because they are women. I do not blame women for being defensive and aggressive, I know what it’s like to be pushed around and ignored for no other reason than that you lack a specific set of genitals between your legs.

If I never choose to assert my gender, no one is responsible for intuitively knowing that I wish to be treated as a man. Appearance is everything. That’s the harsh reality of life. I want to be treated as male, so one day I will likely transition. Because I know that even my friends who support my gender whole heartedly will still see me as female despite their best efforts, so long as I have my current body. I cannot fault them for this. Nor will I push blame for my decision to physically transition onto them, I am going to do this for myself.