Please, Don’t Lump All of Us Together
Laura, I read your story. And the actions of these men are appalling. I’m not sure how to continue to apologize for my gender. When I see things like you described happening, I often step in. I have never been this way. I have NEVER… cat called a women, rated a women by a number, called a women cupcake or honey, asked a women inappropriate questions about her sex life, I don’t make jokes to belittle women, and I have never believed they are the “weaker” sex. I also don’t surround myself with other men that do that crap because they are weak minded boys, not true men.
There are amazing quality men in this world and there are horrible men.
I grew up in a household fraught with abuse from a stepfather. I watched my sister get sexually and physically abused. I would try to protect her but, at 6 years old, I had no chance. I was also the target of both sexual and physical abuse from my stepfather. We both suffered through sexual/physical abuse for many years before my mother finally packed us up and left. I too did the mental math as a child for my safety and numerous times, the numbers didn’t end up working out for me and abuse would occur. I learned very quickly about the type of man I never wanted to be. The type of man I would NEVER be. I would never be the type of man that would make people fear him to feel big, the type of man that would harm innocent people to feel strong.
The reason I tell you all this is so that you understand that I have not only felt what it’s like to have unsolicited and unwarranted sexual advances, like you described, but I’ve also had someone carry them out on me.
As I grew older, I knew what it was like to have that feeling you described about finding a bathroom and I never would put someone else in that position. I work hard to make sure people around me feel safe, both men and women.
I believe I am a good man. Or at least I try like hell to be one.
I still in my heart believe there are many great men in this world. Please don’t lump us all together with these idiots. Although there may be a ton of those bozos, hopefully the great men will outnumber them someday.