Do you control your own life?

I slept yesterday with this question: Do I really control my life?

For someone who loves to have the control over everything in her life, this question can seem stupid. But I’m really wondering…

I appreciate it when I Master my surrenders. When I design a project or when I initiate something, I like, no, I’m obsessed with the result: it should be as I planned…

But is it really the case? Do we master our life ?

First of all, when I wake up in the morning, is it by my will? No… A lot of people died last night; they had a lot of projects, but death happened…

If it’s not death; illness may be…. You scheduled this meeting long time ago, You made an amazing presentation, you have already prepared your speech with the key words, you also defined how you would stand and move in the conference room; but the D- Day, you have a huge stomachache and you cannot attend your own meeting.

“ An old man turned ninety-eight, he won the lottery and died the next day”

When I was younger, I used to listen Ironic from Alanis Morissette “ It’s like rain on your wedding day” lol who wants this surprise during an outdoor wedding… It’s really presumptuous to us to pretend that we can master every little thing… Of course, we can in certain terms, but the not for everything: several parameters do not depend on us.

Maybe you are wondering why I’m talking about something so obvious. Maybe you are getting bored… But wait…

This compulsion to have control on everything makes you crazy when things do not happen as you wished… For those who have the same problem, I’m sure that you damn the whole universe, you consider an unexpected event like sand grain, Oh It’s a conspiracy: this apprentice just to mess with your things.

You damn yourself because you didn’t prevent this situation…. But who could?

Personally, some months ago, I realized that I was, no, I am, too arrogant. I believe in God, and it’s too presumptuous to pretend that I CONTROL my life. Something I didn’t plan came into my life, I was quite sure I did all my best to avoid it… I realized that something missed in my schema. At that moment, out of self-confidence or vanity, I dropped my guard, sure that NOTHING could happen. I still laugh about this… The impossible arrived and I learned that I cannot control everything.

And then a new word came in my vocabulary: humility. Admit and accept that despite all my cautions, there will always be a key factor, I don’t master.

So I learned that I should let go… The most important thing is to ensure myself that I made the necessary arrangements and did all my best, the rest is not my responsibility.

That’s where comes Serenity.

Serenity wants us to adjust when comes the unexpected event… no one is immune to an unknown event. Instead of complaining, just step back and analyze, keep cool and find the appropriate solution…

Because at the end of the day it’s not a defeat, it’s a lesson.

An opportunity to learn, and above all an opportunity to learn from yourself…

God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Marc Aurele