Your Need To Belong Is Messing Up Your Life
“It is better to live for one day as a lion than for 1000 years as a sheep.” — Tibetan Proverb
You can follow along and keep trying to fit in. You can continue to say yes when you really want to say no. You can carry around all the extra weight, stress and disappointment that comes packaged with that way of living or you can decide right now that you deserve more.
Contrary to how it may feel in the moment; you never lose a thing by opting out of what no longer feels good enough. But by turning your back on yourself, you lose the opportunity to know what could have been.
Only you can decide if the trade is worth it.
What would it mean for you to act more like a lion in your life right now? What thoughts and fears are blocking you from doing so?
It’s likely your fear has something to do with losing friends or approval or love. This makes perfect sense. We all want to be liked. We care what others think of us. But I want you to consider carefully if your need to belong has led to a pattern of self-betrayal.
When our need to belong is too extreme, we are easily tricked into believing that the bigger, bolder, more honest we become, the less people will like us. This is hogwash.
Think about the people you admire most.
Would you consider them more like a lion or a sheep?
Do they seem confident and proud of who they are or insecure and apologetic for their choices?
Does it seem like their life feels easier or harder than yours?
It’s scary to admit that you may no longer be comfortable hanging with the same crowd. Growing pains can hurt. But you have to make the call whether you’re going to stay the same or allow yourself to grow. What do you want to matter more?
You deserve the chance to have your life look and feel the way you want. In order to do that, adopting the lion stance is a non-negotiable.
Being fiercely protective over what you’re willing to exchange your time for is a huge gesture of self-love. These daily gestures of self-love will help you recognize that the life you want isn’t such a long-shot.
It’s okay to be part of the Lion Pride. You and I both know this is where you really belong. Welcome home.
PS: The principles I share with you may sound simple, but can often feel challenging to integrate into your everyday life.
If you have questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out. This is why I’m here.
love and light,
xx Lori Fields, LCSW