You should listen to reason, logic, rational thought… No, you should listen to your heart. No, rather listen to your basic instincts. All these instructions! Stop telling us what to do.
Everyone has all this advice to give. Did they follow it? Are they living their dream? Imagine this world where each person did what they were created for. What if every person found their unique identity and followed their True North? Some would be soldiers, warriors… Others would be peace-keepers, care-givers. We need all different types of people to function wholly as a society in this life.
Now, is there anything that is reason enough to throw away for your own cause? What about family? What about friends? Your career? Your passion? What if your identity is not linked to what you are passionate about? I know it doesn’t make sense, but anything could happen.
Merina thought that she had found her calling:
To be the wife to Conan, to someday bear his children and raise them. She probably would not have been allowed to raise them herself even though that was her heart’s desire.
She gave up everything for Conan and she was happy to do so. She was his wife and she wanted to compromise for him. She thought it her privileged duty to make sacrifices for him. That is how he conditioned her over the years. He was cultivating the ideal wife. He did not bargain on the fact that she was able to think for herself. He did not realise that even in her deserted state she would be able to claw out of the isolation that he cocooned her in. She was much more than he ever knew.
Is it possible to truly love someone else if you are not capable of loving yourself? Is one able to forgive another person if one is unable to set oneself free from past transgressions and mistakes? If you are unable to love yourself then you would do things that are detrimental to your soul, body, spirit and mind. She never wanted to hurt anyone.
When you grow up in a controlling environment this is what happens. Every move you make is criticised — the food you make, the calculations you make, the way you think, the way you live, the way you act (there are expectations as to how you should act when you’re a “lady” and a certain “age”)… You are raised with this acidic guilt that flows from your core. Never are you able to truly relax and enjoy yourself. Never are you able to be yourself — the true you. As soon as you break away from the norms and values that defined you you are stopped in your tracks of exploration.
The question still stands:
What is worth it? Who is worth it? And if it is and they are — will it be an expectation?