I still remember my first maths lesson at High School even though it occurred more than thirty years ago. It was a warm summer’s day and I sat apprehensively with my new classmates in Room Four wondering what High School Maths would be like and whether I’d be able to understand it. Our teacher was the bespectacled and bushy-bearded Mr Arnold. He sat on the table at the front of the room, legs dangling, hands resting lightly on the edge of the table and began by telling us we were no longer in “little school” and that different standards would now apply. We would need to work for any achievements we wished to make.
And then came the real gold.
Mr Arnold explained the very strong correlation between those who set goals and those who were high-achievers. And the correlation was even stronger for those who actually wrote down their goals, rather than just thinking about them. I don’t recall the exact words that he used, but I do know that he spent quite some time on the subject of goal setting, and it had a profound and immediate impact on me. The message resonated with me, and I proceeded to set goals throughout my high school journey. In accordance with Mr Arnold’s theory, I succeeded in achieving most of them and performing at a high level. Mr Arnold’s lesson has stayed with me for more than thirty years now and I believe it has been a factor behind any successes I have achieved along the way.
In attempting to set and achieve goals, and also through a fair number of failures, I have learnt much about goals and goal-setting over the subsequent years. Here are some of my learnings.
The first is that Mr Arnold was exactly right, and there is a strong correlation between me writing down my goals and achieving them. This effect is magnified when I review them regularly to track my progress and identify if any course corrections are required to keep me on track.
I also found that it’s important to be specific in the way I frame my goals. For example, it’s a struggle to know if I’m achieving a goal of “Get more sleep”, but very easy to measure my progress against a goal such as, “Get to sleep by 10PM on weeknights.”
One downside associated with setting goals can be the sensation of a “post-goal letdown”. The most notable time I experienced this occurred on the night I was awarded Dux of the school. I first set myself the goal of being Dux at the end of Year Seven. It took me five years to achieve, and was a strong motivating driver for me particularly through Years Eleven and Twelve. I still recall the immense feeling of emptiness as I left the function with my award in hand, just an hour or two after I had stood on the stage basking in the applause.
In my experience, whenever I have put too much emphasis on any individual goal, I’ll inevitably feel a sense of post-goal let-down once I have achieved it. At a chemical level, I understand that the brain releases dopamine when we find or achieve something we have been seeking (such as realising a goal). The release of dopamine feels good in the moment, but our body quickly absorbs it. Whilst we can get some follow-up benefit when we subsequently reflect on the achievement of the goal, the joy from this is much less. Once our brain believes we have achieved our target, it’s ready to move on to the next thing. The only thing is, if I have only had one large, all-consuming goal, there is no next target for my brain to focus on, which can lead to the sense of emptiness that I experienced. I have come to the conclusion that expecting the achievement of some major goal to bring about deep satisfaction is similar to thinking that money will buy happiness. In my experience, every pay-rise, new car or new piece of furniture has a minimal impact on my overall sense of happiness or well-being once the novelty wears off.
To help overcome this sense of “post-goal letdown”, I found it very useful to develop multiple goals linked to my values or the most important elements of my life. For me, these dimensions include my family, my career, my personal and spiritual development, friendships and hobbies. These different goals have different scopes and time frames, and so, even as I achieve one goal, there is always another goal in train to keep focusing on, which helps me avoid any feeling of emptiness. I also prefer to break larger goals into numerous smaller goals so that I am regularly feeling the satisfaction of achieving a goal, and this sense of progress helps me stay motivated so that I can work on the next. And because progress or improvement can always be made against a value or with a relationship, achieving a goal that is related to a value is never the end of the line, but simply a step along a journey.
One important practice that I recommend is to celebrate the successful achievement of a goal. Depending on how significant the goal is, the celebration may be as simple as a fist pump or a private lap around a room with your arms raised in a victory salute. For the completion of a significant goal, a celebratory lunch, dinner or party may be warranted. Once the celebration is complete, I suggest a mental reset where you let go of the goal you have completed and get ready for the next goal you need to pursue. (Read my article if you’re not sure how to select the goals you should be setting for your self).
Adopting these practice have helped me live a better-rounded life with opportunities to continuously improve. In a previous post I spoke about the importance of a Growth Mindset. Although I only became aware of this concept recently, I believe that in continually setting goals, pursuing them, and then selecting new goals to help improve in many areas of my life, I was sub-consciously following a growth mindset (to a certain extent at least). Although it may sometimes feel that completing one small goal may have a minimal impact on the overall state of your life, the compounding effect of completing numerous goals over a number of years can lead to a massive positive impact on the state of your health, your career, your relationships, your finances and overall sense of well-being.
The bottom line? My view is that when it comes to goals, the journey is more important than the destination. If goal achievement is the be-all and the end-all, you can miss much of the fun and interest along the way, and when you do complete a task, you’ll find it was never quite as satisfying as you envisaged it might be. But if you focus on enjoying the journey, and make sure you are working towards goals across a range of interests, then a life of satisfaction and achievement beckons.
To investigate this hack further, you can check out two books which helped me refine my thinking around goals:
- The Monk Who Sold his Ferrari by Robin Sharma
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey (particularly Habit 2: Begin with the end in Mind).
Footnote: I looked Mr Arnold up last year and sent him a note to thank him for that first maths lesson, which I still rate as one of the most important of my entire schooling experience.
