Life Of Lux
Nov 5 · 5 min read

Saying Goodbye To The Monarch That Gave Us Our Crowns.

Strap yourselves in fuckers, were going on the roller coaster of emotions….

Build women up. I don’t know where this message got lost over the years, but it did. I can’t tell you the amount of women I have cut the fuck off for being ‘mean’ girls, for being those women that can’t wait for you to leave the table so they can talk about you. I’ve never been for that. I’ve never been someone who is happy a woman is failing, why is that? I am one of thirteen cousins, nine of which are women and we just aren’t like that!?

You’ve met my dad…. (click back a few blogs). The dad that is all about women empowerment? Well, the reason he is like this is because he was raised by a strong woman, my Nanna. She raised two boys and three girls. All of which are close siblings, then when they all started popping out babies… we all became close….now we are all popping out babies. They are all close!!!! Family is so important being the main message.

People have always found that strange, something I find strange in return. People cannot believe at 30 I am still friends with my cousins. I don’t get it. I mean, I understand there are so many of us, if we didn’t see each other regularly, we’d have to meet in a park once a year and have a good hard look at each other so we don’t inbreed. But we all live within an hour of each other, (minus one in New Zealand) why not call in for a coffee while you’re here? Why not go to the same gym to have someone there to truly encourage you?

I mean sure, i can tell you stories…. of camping in the backyard and my bitch cousin Zoe terrifying me so much with her scary stories I refused to sleep in the tent. Yeah. I outted you….. bitch.

I have one cousin…. we’ll call….’Zarah’ threw my (then baby) cousin… ‘Jiarni’ into a fan. She still has that scar….. but now that cousin babysits the other ones kids.

With a family like mine, you don’t have to watch your dad fuck around with the light switch and have 000 on speed dial, instead call your sparky cousin, he will be here in nine minutes!

I never thought it was weird. People that marry into this family are welcomed with open arms …… I mean, good luck. We’re insane, but we are welcoming. No judgements here. It’s all from my Nanna. Family is life. She lived for her kids and grandkids and great grandkids and I honestly think one day she sat back and thought, I did good. I can go now, I did so well raising these kids.

She was in a hospital bed listening to us coming in two by two, switching each other out, asking for each other to come in with them for support. We knew who could handle it and who couldn’t. We knew which of us you could borrow some strong from, which would cry and which would be there for the comic relief (hint… that’s me) It’s been months and we are still getting birthday, Christmas, congratulation cards with Nanna’s handwriting, being so prepared and so excited for the next event. She’s still with us in spirit, she’s still very much a part of our events. A very important part of this family. The monarch.

But in the midst of this year of losing her yet gaining a son, navigating life as a single pregnant/mother that’s when I’ve sat back and really appreciated these children that she raised, this family she has blessed me with. These women who tell you, ‘you look amazing’ and not only mean it, but don’t roll their eyes when you reply with… ‘I know! Thank you’. The aunts I excitedly called to tell I was pregnant and doing it alone, proud being their reaction. Not shame or confusion. I wasn’t a gossip piece, I was a niece they were proud to watch on this journey.

I was so nervous to go out for the first time since baby was born. The first event I would be drinking, first event that I wouldn’t be in bed by 9 afterwards. My cousins engagement party, something she asked for ‘No Kids’ to attend, but knew me as a new mother I’d be nervous leaving him and also that he was still so little. She pulled me to the side and said. ‘You can bring him, I don’t expect you to leave a newborn home alone and I want you to come’. Which was followed by both my sister and mother telling me they would watch him so I could drink and have fun. Let my hair down for the first time in over a year. Something I hadn’t done, something I feel I need to watch myself for incase the sperm donor decides he wants back in and thinks using a Facebook photo of me with a wine in my hand will persuade a judge to give him half custody. (Yep. Things I think about).

I walked into the venue, downstairs was full of 12 year olds in jean shorts and bras they were trying to pass off as shirts.

The ‘Oh my God a baby!!!’ Excitement was quickly replaced with that *judging you because you’re here with a baby* look. I already felt awkward enough, the mum guilt setting in hard. Awkwardly trying to manoeuvre a giant pram around these drunk foetus’. Instantly overwhelmed, getting in the elevator. Up to the event. The second the doors open….

My family. Instant relief.

‘Oh my God a baby’.. ‘you look so great’… ‘how are you? Are you sleeping’ …. ‘how is everything’….. ‘here is a wine’…. ‘here is another wine’ … ‘come out and have adult time, your mum has him. Don’t fret. Here is another wine’…. ‘don’t feel guilty, you’re allowed adult time’ … ‘have another wine’ … ‘we will take care of you’….’ don’t worry, your sister is holding him, here is another wine’

Needless to say I got hammered. My aunts, uncles and cousins being their perfect selves, absolutely no judgement I was there with a baby with a wine in my hand. It was a perfect ‘first night out since having baby’ night. He was within reach but also my entire family was all over him, I knew he was alright.

The next day however, ugh. Hungover motherhood is fuuuucccckkked.

The next day, all of us braved the sunshine, hung over and gross and finally said goodbye to Nanna. Her plaque for the church wall was finally ready, the service was beautiful. We all said our goodbyes and as I said earlier, because we actually like each other we went out of lunch afterwards….. all….. I’m going to say 40 of us, but it’s probably more. Loudly laughing, reminiscing, making fun of each other, while our million kids played.

It was a bittersweet feeling. Looking around at all the women who have my back with this single mother life, saying goodbye to the reason I have this family in the first place.

I will always and forever have love for Nanna, but the gratitude I have for her will never die.

Life Of Lux

Written by

Ew, another single mum. Just navigating this parenting thing by judging those who judge her.... for money. Book Coming 2020.

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