How bad would it be if I ditched the doctors?

I heard “drug trial” and immediately felt like a dollar sign, a number.

A number in a sea of other numbers, suspended in space. Like those “lower your cholesterol” commercials with the stylized digits floating about, illuminating the smiling actor’s LDL cholesterol number as they begin to count down, presumably because he took said advertised drug.

I should be happy, shouldn’t I?

Apparently since there’s no FDA-approved drug for high triglycerides and LDL cholesterol, both, I have the “opportunity” to be a guinea pig — to get “free treatment” as a test subject.

But the thing is, I know genetics aren’t on my side here, and my life is unwillingly sedentary, but I know there are other options. There’s more than just “pump more chemicals into your body and hope for the best while never actually addressing the real fucking problem”.

There are more options — more than just thread a lit tube through your colon at thirty years old in search of… what was it, again?

Bacteria? Because everything else would’ve shown up from the CT scan.

Why do I feel like I’m being taken advantage of by my doctors?

Fasting: NO.

You didn’t fast? But you’re having a lipid panel test done. Your cholesterol and triglycerides will be through the roof.

I don’t know. I just did what she said to do on the paperwork.

She stared at me.

Okay, but this test isn’t going to be accurate. You’re probably gonna have to come back in, to fast for this.

“Your triglycerides and cholesterol are high, Sara.”

Your cholesterol and triglycerides will be through the roof!

“What does that mean? What can I do about it?”

“Well, there aren’t any FDA-approved drugs at this point in time, but there is a drug trial to lower both bad cholesterol and triglycerides…”

What the hell is happening right now? Why did I cancel my other appointment? Dammit, Sara.

“Woman to woman,” I said. “I have three kids and I’m thirty: Is being in a drug trial a good idea for someone with so much to lose?”

“You have nothing to lose. It’s free medical attention.”

I’d rather pay and not be taken advantage of.

I’d rather pay and live.

I’m looking into natural medicine. I’d rather change my life completely than throw more pills at the problem.

I’m tired of living like this.

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