The Summer of Uninspiration
My problems didn’t disappear with a 2,700-mile move. They just drove the scenic route, catching up shortly after my flight landed.
My brain has died.
I’m flooded with thoughts and demands and people asking for time, and I’ve lost the ability to think.
I’ve fallen into a hole with rigid, unscalable walls where creativity collapses and originality wains.
This hole is called “Summer”.
The Summer of Uninspiration.
(Yes, that is a made-up word.)
My partner and I had a deep chat earlier this week.
I generally wind up in tears, but this time was different.
He called my bluff.
See, I thought when we left Florida, that all of a sudden — being able to go outside and do things with my family again — that I’d miraculously be inspired and no longer depressed.
I’d wondered if my iron was low again, or if there was some other problem a thorough blood test could resolve, but my partner called a spade a spade: I’m unhappy.
My problems didn’t disappear with a 2,700-mile move.
They just drove the scenic route, catching up shortly after my flight landed.
I can’t get up in the mornings.
It has to be my iron or something else, right?
Not that I’m sulking over a pretty darned beautiful life I can’t seem to motivate myself out of bed for…
I used to get annoyed by people who seemed to constantly be “down” or “sticks in the mud”, but I’m that person right now.
It’s different when you’re on that side of the fence.
It’s valid — real.
It makes you think about all those people you left behind for being “negative” or “toxic”.
You couldn’t love them where they were.
I can’t let guilt consume me now. I need to forgive myself — I was so young then.
I can forgive, just like I can get out of this rut and move forward.
It has a name now, a face. It can be conquered.
Now to conquer it…
I’m Sara Eatherton-Goff, a multi-passionate mom-person with a whole bunch of other things in betwixt. I’m presently writing on Medium and other publications, and you can find me at GoffCreative.com.
Join my Creative Community right here.
It started as an outlet and a way for me to stop being so judgmental of my own works.medium.com