Game of Thrones Characters and their NBA Counterparts:

The Lannister’s and the CAVS

A buddy and I — both of us people whose love for GoT is only outdone by our love for the NBA — had a text thread going yesterday in which we challenged eachother to make connections between GoT character groups and their proper NBA team counterparts. The following is some of our best stuff.

The Lannister’s and The Cavs:

LeBron is Tywin Lannister.

  • This is pretty obvious. Both are the clear heads of their families, both are ruthless, and both frequently express deep disappointment with their kids (for LeBron we’re talking about his teammates, obviously…He seems very proud of little Jr. and Bryce). Going further, both have an obsession with their personal legacy, and yet constantly seem to misfire when attempting to cement that legacy. Tywin seems unable to use his children the way he sees fit, and subsequently makes rash decisions in an effort to maneuver and compensate. The last time he did that, he paid the price. Much like Tywin’s efforts to blackmail Jaime into returning to Casterly Rock and convict Tyrion of murder and treason, LeBron does a lot of weird, behind-the-scenes stuff to make his Cleveland situation juuuuust right. The 2016 Finals are clearly not over, but if the Cavs lose like they did last year, a lot of people will question LeBron’s actions — his treatment of Kevin Love, his bizarre social media maneuvers, and his ouster of coach David Blatt — even more than they already do.

Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love are Cersei and Jaime Lannister, respectively

  • No, I’m not saying Irving and Love bang behind closed doors (https://youtu.be/Oj3VphK9AMk ). The point here is that both are the future of their families and both are lethal like their pops. Still, neither pair has quite the same mastery over the game that their fathers do. Imagine LeBron off of the Cavs — they’d have about the same success that the Lannister’s have had since Tywin took an arrow to the chest while pooping. They’d be relevant, but they wouldn’t be feared like they are now. And regardless of what Irving and Love do, you’ll always catch LeBron chastising them — both on the court and to the media — for their shortcomings just like Tywin does with his twins. Why Irving as Cersei and Love as Jaime? The former is more lethal than the latter in both cases.

Tristan Thompson is Kevan Lannister

  • Now this is a little less obvious, but think about it — First off, both of these guys actually do a lot, but if you’re not watching closely you’ll miss their contributions. Thompson is a beast on the boards, and Kevan is actually a decent Hand of the King. Second, both would be nowhere without their big brother. Tywin values Kevan, which in turn gets Kevan positions he otherwise wouldn’t be considered for. Thompson would never have gotten that fat contract if big brother LeBron didn’t hamstring the Cavs on his behalf.

Matthew Dellavedova is Lancel Lannister

  • I thought about doing Anderson Varejao as Lancel because of the whole turncoat thing, but the truth is that Lancel was never as beloved by anyone (even his dad Kevan) the way Varejao was and is by most NBA fans. Does anyone have anything against Andy? Delly, however, is a different story. Does anyone like Delly, outside Cleveland and Australia? No. He’s annoying and he sucks. So does Lancel.

James Jones is Myrcella Baratheon

  • Jones used to be a factor in basketball games — put him in, get a three pointer. But nowadays he sees the court about as much as Myrcella sees the screen. But, both are really sweet and you can’t really help but like them.

David Blatt is Joffrey Baratheon

  • Both of these guys thought they were in charge , but they never really were. Once Tywin showed up, Joffrey was little more than a throne warmer, and LeBron always called the shots in Cleveland. Is Blatt as evil and sadistic as Joffrey? Not at all! But both of them failed to realize who the real powers in their circles were, and now they’re out because of it.

Tyronn Lue is Tommen Baratheon

  • Both of these guys think they’re King, but we all know what’s really going on. In Cleveland, LeBron still calls the shots. In King’s Landing, Cersei held the reins until the High Sparrow took over. In both cases, the so called ‘heads’ are actually quite powerless. When Lue took over as head coach, LeBron and many other Cavaliers got the puppet — err, coach — they wanted. Sound any different than Tommen replacing Joffrey?

So by now you must be wondering — What about Tyrion???!!!

Steph Curry is Tyrion Lannister

  • Stay with me here…Steph might’ve been born in Akron, but he’s no Cavalier. Far from it, Steph represents the greatest threat to the Cavs’ success, and some might even argue that he’s already ‘killed’ LeBron as the best basketball player in the world. Likewise, Tyrion might’ve been born a Lannister, but he’s nothing like his father, sister, or brother. In addition, he’s arguably supplanted Tywin as the most powerful and masterful Lannister ever. At the very least, Tyrion hates his family and their ‘legacy’ and he’s determined to make his own mark on the world. At the very most, Tyrion is actually a Targaryen who will end up riding a dragon into King’s Landing alongside his half-sister Daenerys and half-nephew Jon Snow before burning the Lannister’s/Baratheon’s into ashes ( http://www.westeros.org/Citadel/Prophecies/Entry/II_511_512_The_Dragon_Has_Three_Heads/ ).

Stay tuned for Part II: The Starks and The Warriors

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