So Far, So Good!
Thus far 2016 in its first month has kicked 2015’s hiney! Coming out of what has most likely been one of the hardest and worst years of my short long life, I started 2016 with an open mind and free spirit. Accepting my independence has been a tremendous help and learning how to deal with things on my own instead of needing that shoulder to cry on/ear to brag to. While bumpy patches are still frequent and the need for affirmation and encouragement is nice, I’m happy with a lil treat yo self instead.
So end of 2015 blew. Like that last half of the year sucked giant balls. Many people don’t realize just how hard it is to find a decent job when you are beyond average. After searching and interviewing tirelessly and constant rejection I was offered a position in… RETAIL! The gem of all jobs. Ok, it wasn’t that bad. I’m actually a little sad to leave (30% discounts will be missed). But it was literally a life saver. I had become a zombie lost in endless online applications of “I highly agree” or “I somewhat disagree”. And the advice I was given… Though I know it came from a loving place and friends just wanted to see me being a more normal me again, it was pretty lack luster advice. Most of which I didn’t want because that’s what I had been doing all along or was completely out of my league. But I know they did it cause they care and in retrospect, thank you.
So anywho, I had been feeling really freaking low and everything that could go wrong was. Then somehow, it all turned around. Part luck, part attitude, and part finally getting my shit together has left me feeling blissful.
As for luck, I came into a small inheritance and gained a little financial freedom. So what do I do with it? Book a trip! Duh. Gonna do 24hours in Vegas solo then off to the foggy city to visit the sis and bestie! And what better mood lifter than a trip?! I’m beyond pumped for this lone wolf Vegas trip. Already mapped out which bars to visit, bought my LOVE ticket (splurged on a good seat too), and made my dinner reservation. Then in San Francisco made plans to go to wineries specializing in sparkling wines (sister told me I can’t call it champagne tasting), visit a tiki bar, view some city scapes, and go to a cat cafe! It’ll be purrrect!
Attitude has been difficult. It is still hard to deal with being alone and not having anyone to express my joys with without feeling like I am gloating. I have gone through some pretty conflicting emotions as well and while family is great, I also could have used an outside source to vent to. Which in it self is a complicated source of emotion. Some friendships aren’t what they used to be and while I feel I try to make them work, the sentiment isn’t always reciprocated. So my attitude will go from “happy-go-lucky” to “wow I wasn’t invited?!” to “Let it go, let it go, cant hold me back anymore” within 20 seconds. I have been making an active effort to not let others get me down. And it’s been working for the most part! Keeping my head in a positive space has really been work but has totally helped me get my shit together.
Getting all my ducks in a row has taken so long! But FINALLY! I’ve made significant progress. I have been offered and accepted one of those Monday-Friday job things and will be attending school at nights in hopes of gaining an even better Monday-Friday job thing. The current job will hopefully be a rewarding one too! Nothing humbles more than helping others. Today was my first day at the school I’ll be working at and it will definitely be challenging but I already left the campus with a smile. One of the things I am most excited about is that I won’t have ample free time anymore! YES! And who knows, maybe I’ll make some new friends to go to more cat cafes with!