“I’m ok”, she said. It was the furthest thing from the truth.
Content Warning: near drowning
Tia’s mom Debbie looked just like Debbie Harry from the band Blondie. Rachel’s older brothers said it, as if she knew who that was. Rachel was nine. Music for her consisted of the rock station that played the Rolling Stones, Van Halen, and U2 on repeat. When hanging out at Tia’s, MTV gave her glimpses of clothing and hairstyles that she could only dream about. ‘No way dad would ever let me wear that’, she would lament. And roller-skating jams on Friday night schooled her on Prince and Funkadelic.
Any time she hung out with Tia, there was always something shocking. Seeing the movie Poltergeist at the drive-in gave Rachel nightmares for months. Rachel’s dad was so mad that she was banned from going to the movies with them. He didn’t know they had cable TV with MTV, ‘Skinamax’, and HBO. The first time Rachel saw exposed breasts on TV was in the movie Cat People on cable; it was a horrifying scene of a woman getting killed. The first time she saw a naked man in a magazine was one of Debbie’s Playgirl magazines that Tia had stashed under her bed to look at during slumber parties. They all shrieked and covered mouths to stifle noises, ‘Ewwwww, so gross!’ is all Rachel could think. She had older brothers. It was not anything she wanted to see or think about.
Rachel told her friends not to say anything about her brothers because she knew they found them “cute”. Barf.
Rachel, instead, thought Debbie’s boyfriend was cute. He looked like he could be in a rock band, with slicked-back hair, sparkly eyes, always cracking jokes, and a smile that made everyone else smile. He rode a motorcycle and Debbie was his “old lady” at 23 years old. She had Tia when she was only 14.
We got up early to head to “the lake”. Which lake? No clue.
There were so many lakes in the area and they all looked the same. Debbie and Jay packed the car with coolers full of food and drink, beach blankets, and all the stuff for a day at the lake. Rachel was prepared with sunblock, a swimsuit, a towel, and a book to read.
“Mom said to put our suits on under our clothes”, Tia said as they were changing out of their Strawberry Shortcake and Smurfs pj’s. Rachel had a terrycloth red and white romper and her swimsuit matched. Rachel made sure to pack her undies in her beach bag and grab a plastic bag for wet stuff. Who knows where she learned to remember these things? Maybe it was just in her DNA. Fastidious.
The car ride passed quickly, loud rock music playing, Jay drove, and Debbie smoked with the window down, three white feathers on thin leather straps clipped to her platinum blonde hair. She wore cut-off jean shorts and a black bikini top. She looked so at ease, happy. She kept checking on Rachel and Tia, telling jokes or just telling them how good they are, and how much she loved them both, poking their boney knees with affection. She always included Rachel because she knew that Rachel’s mom was no longer around.
When they pulled into the parking lot, Jay found a spot near a row of motorcycles. When he got out, a group of guys waved at him and walked over with beers in their hands.
“Jay wanted me to drive so he could ride his bike,” she said rolling her eyes, “but I said it didn’t make sense to waste gas like that” putting out her cigarette in the ashtray.
Rachel had no idea how much gas cost and hoped it was not too expensive. Maybe she should offer them money? Dad gave her money for food but didn’t say anything about gas. ‘Best not’, she thought and planned to ask her dad when she got home.
After some sunblock, they were off to the water. Tia’s mom was already fast in conversation with a friend who looked just like her, just a little bit taller and visibly swaying back and forth with a beer can in her right hand. Debbie would drink, but Jay never did. Rachel felt safe around him.
Tia and Rachel walked shoulder to shoulder, a bit nervous walking past so many people in their swimsuits. Rachel never felt so exposed. The eyes were all on her in her unfashionable red one-piece. They both walked faster to the water, dropping their towels and kicking off their flip-flops before running in.
There was a rope with red plastic floating discs to indicate the deep area. Rachel could swim. Tia was still learning. Rachel swam to the bottom of the deep area to grab flat rocks to share with Tia. While they skipped rocks, they watched older boys swimming past the safety rope.
“Come on, let’s go past the rope…those guys are cute”, Tia said, sticking her non-existent chest out further. Tia was already boy-crazy, while Rachel was still playing with dolls and reading Encyclopedia Brown books. Not wanting to seem uncool, Rachel said ‘”Sure”.
They both looked back at the shore and saw that nobody was paying attention to them. That was the moment. Rachel pulled up the rope. Tia doggie paddled into the deep area. “We just need to make it to the diving pontoon”, Tia said, committed. They were still far away.
Tia doggie paddled, and Rachel swam slowly, gracefully waving her arms and legs in the water to stay afloat in the calm lake. Tia was breathing heavily.
Then, Tia panicked.
“Shit, I can’t…my arms…”, Tia could not doggie-paddle anymore, tired or cramps, and she started to bob under the water. Rachel was next to her, head above water, and looked around for help.
She then felt Tia arms wrap around her neck from behind.
No! But she could not push Tia off. Dead weight. Rachel was able to bob up to get a mouth full of air before Tia pushed her down to get her own head above water.
Tia was in survival mode and it was either her or Rachel. Tia wanted to live.
Rachel opened her eyes underwater, cheeks puffed full of air getting used up fast, a bitter taste in her mouth, stale. Her tongue felt like sandpaper. She tried to pull Tia’s arms off her, she scratched her and thought of biting her but didn’t want to lose her air. The pressure was getting to be too much. She had to open her mouth to breathe, but she wasn’t a fish.
Then, a powerful arm wrapped around Rachel’s torso and pulled her to the surface. Head above the surface, she inhaled deep.
Safe.
It was Jay, Debbie’s boyfriend. He looked terrified, like how Rachel must have looked after seeing Poltergeist.
“What the hell! Rachel, you’re ok! You’re ok!”, Jay was telling Rachel, not asking.
Rachel and her brothers had near-death experiences aplenty. Somehow someone was always nearby to save Rachel, or she went into survival mode and saved herself. She knew better than to walk through the woods between the mall after dark. Someone got molested there. And she knew to stick to the main streets when riding her bike home after dark. White panel vans were to be avoided at all costs, as in, cross the street if you see one parked on your side of the street while walking alone.
This was different.
On the shore, wrapped in their towels, they both were shaking. Tia was in Debbie’s arms crying.
“You can’t tell your dad,” Jay said, kneeling in front of her, concerned eyes, no smile, with his hands on Rachel’s shoulder, not shaking but comforting. She nodded her head, yes, and understood. She felt numb. She just left her body and watched from above.
“I’m ok”, she said. It was the furthest thing from the truth.
