Weddings Cost Money For Everyone
Megan Reynolds

I know there are lots of issues with the Kondo cleaning method, but I found that applying part of the thrust of it (rather than thinking of it as starting with stuff and getting rid of it, think of it as starting with nothing and choosing what to keep) worked well for wedding planning. I’ve seen a lot of people try to cut back, and then either find it impossible or feel deprived. Going the other way (assuming nothing would be part of the wedding and building up from there) worked well for us, and ultimately made it all affordable without feeling like we cared about what we didn’t have (non-wedding venue, homemade dress, no wedding party except my sister, no sit-down dinner, no professional videographer or photographer, no engagement ring, no engagement parties, no bachelorette party, no showers, no brunch the day after, no flowers, no DJ/band, etc.).

We did provide a full open bar, appetizers, cupcakes, and dinner the night before for everyone, and we kept what mattered to us (we did a trapeze act instead of a first dance, which was the most important piece to us since we’re trapeze partners and met through that).

We had a lot of out-of-town guests, and I do feel bad about the hotel and travel costs that meant for people, so we also asked folks to forgo gifts (many did not, though). Ultimately, the travel piece is expensive if your family and friends are far-flung, but we tried to go with an affordable nearby city, do it in the off season, and only need people to travel once. It helped a lot that our family didn’t pressure us for additional events.

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