
STOP ARGUING, START ADAPTING
My reaction to Todd Van Luling’s article “24 Things Millennials Need To Get Over Already”
Written by: Lindsey Margolis
It’s been three years since this article was written and, my dearest Todd, it looks like your article has merely been filed in a cabinet by the universe and labeled as “wishful thinking.”
Actually, the full label probably reads something like, “Wishing Thinking for Dummies; a crash course,” but, we can never be sure.
I think it’s time that we, as millennials, stand up to articles like these; you know, the ones that have one giant mission to attack our passion and way of life. I mean, the fact that this author resents the word “brunch” so much that he felt obliged to try making us feel pathetic for saying it is straight up petty.
Petty AF.
Anyway, here are some things that the author, Todd Van Luling, has presented as unacceptable when it comes to millennials which, for someone who accuses us of being an entitled generation, has proven himself to be just as entitled if not more with this article.
SELFIES
Todd says: “Human subjects make images more powerful, but a selfie is cheating, as you usually don’t really look that interesting in your own photo. Instead, we could be on the lookout for other people in the world that could make your photographs stand out. The popularity of selfies in 2013 reminds of the early years of YouTube, when people would just upload videos of themselves lip-syncing because people didn’t know how to do things any better yet.”
SURPRISE! I just want to give a huge shout out to Musical.ly for existing. If you’ve never heard of Musical.ly, it is a lip syncing app that has gone viral to the point of becoming one of social medias biggest platforms for influencers, marketers, brands, and everyday users. So congratulations Todd; you played yourself.
As for selfies, sure, there are times when we feel good and want to flaunt it. But a selfie is just more personal; it’s a relatable way to share a fun experience with your friends and family on the internet. Imagine a picture being worth a million words instead of 1000, simply because we had that expression on our face to explain it.
Sometimes when we view things from another perspective, you’ll find deeper meanings to the things that are commonly labeled as stupid. Try it.

DISNEY
Todd says: “The Disney corporation has gotten a free pass for far too long, and 2014 is the year their fairytale should end. For some reason, the childlike wonder of Disney makes us forget that some of it is literally made by sweatshop children wondering when their next meal will be. Also, did you know Disney Executives discussed how sexually attractive the Little Mermaid was? Just remember Disney magic was created by ad men like Don Draper and not wizards like Merlin.”
Disney has been and will always be the designated educator of dreams, morals, and hard work. Why? Because they teach it better than you. Millennials are desperate to hold on to their passion and live their dream, despite that there is an entire generation telling us that we are ridiculous for wanting to actually make something of ourselves. Nobody wants to live merely for the weekend.
We grew up with our parents telling us that we can be ANYTHING we want to be but, what they failed to address was that that motivation and drive came with an expiration date. To us, passion doesn’t expire.

BEING “SO OLD”
Todd says: “you’re not that old.”
I say: yeah, and we never will be..to YOU. Accomplishing a goal takes time; shit takes time, especially when we feel alone trying do it. So when we say “omg I’m so old,” it literally has nothing to do with you. We’re not comparing our age with yours because, well, not everything is about you.
Now that I think about it, that could very well be where your resentment for an entire generation derives from; the fact that it’s no longer all about you. Contrary to the overestimated yet popular belief, millennials actually do not want it to be all about them. In fact, we want it to be about everybody. In other words, we want the humans to work together as humans; a concept in which Disney did a fantastic job of teaching.

BRANDS
Todd says: “Brands aren’t cool simply because of their ubiquitous inclusion in millennial pop culture. That’s it.”
This literally sounds like a whining child. You literally sound like you’re annoyed because millennials exist in general like, the fact that we exist is literally your fault, so. Okay.
Anyway, so yeah brands tend to go with the marketing tactic that allows for maximum exposure which happens to be social media which also happens to be where millennials hang out so yes, you are correct, brands chill with the popular culture on the internet. With the millennials. And since baby boomers are too busy bitching about how narcissistic the younger generation is, they’re not invited.

CATS
Todd says: “The Internet may finally be falling out of love with cats. Fur right meow, it is unclear whether millennials are already beating a dead cat horse, or if they’ve jumped the cat shark just yet, but the end of the cat reignseems to be nigh.”
The hell you got against cats? Unless you’re allergic to them which, is probably the universes way of saying that you’re not good enough for cats.
If you want to give up on an entire generation by refusing to support our way of life then we don’t have much of a choice other than to think like a cat by puking in your shoes and not giving a shit about it.
Basically if you tell me I’m going to fail I will vomit in your shoes.

MULTI-TASKING
Todd says: “It’s not even possible, so stop it. Maybe you’re OK at doing many things in a small time frame, but there’s probably a more effective way. Even better, instead of multi-tasking just get more sleep. Don’t burn out, millennials!”
I tried reading the statement above like 12 times with no luck. Nothing in that explanation makes sense; literally none of those words should be placed together and published as an acceptable paragraph for others to try and interpret.
For one thing, the entire concept of school in general is a giant game of who can multi-task and not die so what do you mean multi-tasking doesn’t exist? I don’t like oranges but I can’t just make them go away by pretending they don’t exist..

FOMO; FEAR OF MISSING OUT
Todd says: “Allow yourself to be freed from the “fear of missing out.” You can’t see everything, you can’t do everything, and you can’t be everywhere, yet somehow you’ll be alright. You should be able to breathe easy. Sometimes staying at home on Netflix and not hanging out with friends is a perfectly fine way to spend a night.”
We are actually freeing ourselves from that by acknowledging it, owning it, and admitting when it happens in the form of an abbreviation which, I’m assuming you hate as well because, I mean, it’s been three years since you’ve written this article and literally every topic you tried taking down has just gotten stronger. And now, we abbreviate things. Wtf, right? Lol.
Also, if you think that any millennial would rather go out with friends than stay home and binge watch Netflix then you are…INCORRECT!

SUPERHEROES
Todd says: “Superheroes aren’t supposed to be everywhere, because then they become less super. When we have half a dozen films every year, with most featuring more than one superhero, they kinda just become normal heroes. Superman? More like Man. Iron Man? Also just Man. Wonder Woman? More like … wait, this movie didn’t even get made despite news of lesser superheroes like Ant Man getting their own movies. Superhero films also have a gender problem.”
SURPRISE AGAIN! Wonderwoman happened and, this piece inside info may startle you but, Wonderwoman is, in fact, a woman. As is Catwoman, Superwoman, Electra, and, my personal favorite, Harley Quinn. Looks like you’re the only average Joe here, Todd.

STARTUPS
Todd says: “Being the next Mark Zuckerberg or the next Snapchat ghost is basically the peak of the American dream for millennials. A whole media enterprise has been launched solely to criticize the people fueling this startup world. Ignoring the potential tech bubble, mostly it’s just annoying that Silicon Valley seems to think of themselves as America’s most successful punk scene, with their use of words like “disrupt” to talk about plans to oust contemporary industries with supposedly forward-thinking technological innovations.”
You ran yourself into a wall with that run on rant about how startups are too..”basic.”
Basic; a word in which millennials use to describe something or someone in which appears to be boring and/or predictable. For example: the article “24 Things Millennials Need To Get Over Already,” by Todd Van Luling.

HARRY POTTER
Todd says: “Millennials still can’t seem to get enough of the wizard boy who lived. There’s nothing wrong with Harry Potter, except it seems like it’s time to move on from Hogwarts and remind ourselves that, despite our deepest wishes, we can’t stay in school forever.”
Wait, hold up. Isn’t school one of the main reasons that you think the entire millennial generation as a whole are doomed in general? I mean, you guys, quite literally, have thrown a worldwide tantrum because millennials do not actually believe that you HAVE to attend higher education institutions in order to be successful, so isn’t having a degree the only way you believe somebody can make a living?
So what you’re saying is, millennials are foolish little brats for not wanting a lifetime of debt when they know that a college degree will simply end up being a waste of time and money in that college cannot teach something like entrepreneurship, for example, but you know, wake up, kids! We can’t stay in school forever!
Blaming Harry Potter is just mean.

GRAMMAR NAZIS
Todd says: “Instead of obsessing over Merriam and Webster, perhaps Grammar Nazis will move on to a role model like Alien, a character from the 2013 film “Spring Breakers,” who taught us that there isn’t just one way to speak, and that American English is wonderfully diverse. “This is the fuckin’ American dream. This is my fuckin’ dream, y’all! All this sheeyit! Look at my sheeyit!” he wisely spoke. America the beautiful.”
Yaint seen nothin yet


ENERGY DRINKS
Todd says: “Red Bull is a very “cool” entity, from their Music Academy to their magazine to sponsoring someone’s skydive from spaceto etc., etc. But despite the awesome things that surround the brand, the actual liquid in the can just isn’t that good for you, and is leading to increased hospital visits. Other energy drink competitors are also making questionable moves to keep you drinking until we become an Idiocracy nation.”
Literally nobody drinks energy drinks to look cool. We drink them because we’re trying to cram for 7 finals while still attempting to get the sleep you accuse us of not getting when we multitask which you seem to think isn’t actually a thing due to the anxiety of memorizing textbooks just to NOT fail otherwise we’re dumb and lazy all the while trying to figure out why we feel like dying every morning at 6am because of the lack of sleep we got that you seem to think we had time for had we not been multi-tasking but nothing matters because we have three exams today, one is Calculus, and we literally can’t keep our eyes open.
So yeah, energy drinks are pretty cool in the sense that it helps us not collapse. And the heart conditions they may cause can wait because it’s 2am and I just remembered the 10 page essay on the correlation between anxiety and college that’s due tomorrow.

Listen, Todd, I’m sure you are a very nice person and you are most definitely entitled to your opinion. It’s just that, we are entitled to ours too, and trying to keep you guys happy along with ourselves is draining when every little thing we do is wrong, right down to the word “brunch.”
We are constantly attacked for being a technology-based generation as if your arguments against us are going to actually stop that from happening. If that’s how life worked, I would have argued the country out of the most recent presidential election but that’s not how life works. Our empathy for people as human beings is being vitally ignored and clashes with what seems to be your apathy and if it continues, then you’re right. The world will in fact stop working.
By the way, the Little Mermaid is pretty sexy.
Lindsey Margolis is a social media content creator as well as a confused millennial due to writing about herself in the 3rd person. Reach out at:
Snapchat: Piiinky
Instagram: Lindsey.Margolis
Facebook: PiiinkyLindsey
Twitter: LindseyMargolis
Email: PiiinkyLindsey@gmail.com
“24 THINGS MILLENNIALS NEED TO GET OVER ALREADY”
written by Todd Van Luling
Published by The Huffington Post, 2014
Source: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4519459
