A Return to Form
Here is a confession, I almost always feel inadequate. Part of my GAD is that I worry how others view me, how I stack up, am I doing enough, and do others think I am doing enough. Now, intellectually I realize that the amount of time people analyze others is near zilch, I still worry about this almost constantly. In an attempt to ease this worry I over compenstate. I’ll take on four or five freelance jobs when I should probably only do two. Instead of using one exercise app I run three. It’s not enough to vacuum once a week, I might do it three times.
It is absurd. I know. It stems from control. Or at least so said my therapist.
Usually once a year I get a wake up call and I can return to my healthy, functional form. This time around I was let go from a freelance job that I enjoyed. And I put on a bit too much weight. It was the right thing for the editor at the freelance postion to let me go. That is hard to admit, but I had over stretched myself and the quality of my work slipped. I respect her for letting me go and I am thankful for the time I had with that company. But the stress from months of house guests, plus repairs on our home, plus general anxiety has led me to over eat again.
Here is my promise to myself, and anyone else who reads this.
I am back. For a while at least. And here is how.
I joined a mom’s fitness class at the local rec center.
I am refocusing on the current jobs that I have.
I am spending more time with my kid, especially now that we are trying to potty train her.
I will enjoy food, instead of just eating to eat.
As a reward for my return to form I will knock out The Color Run at the end of this month like a boss. If anyone in Denver wants to run with me, use my code DENCO2. I have done The Color Run three times and it never fails to cheer me up!
Here is to the rest of the summer, with my shit together!