Journeys on your dark side — get grounded
— As a preface I want to mention that this is post is largely inspired by Ruwan Meepagala, a brillant coach whom I was lucky to meet because he changed my life.
The dark side is in everyone of us. We call it our demons, our beast or literally our dark side. It took me some unpleasant moments of my life to acknowledge notice it, to accept it and to eventually embrace it as a part of me that is as real as every other aspect of ‘me’. To write about it now is a strange experience, accompanied by a significant amount of uncertainty. That is for two reasons. First, in my world, the dark side of someone is hardly ever communicated. It is mostly suppressed and ignored and covered beneath layer after layer of conditioning and habitual avoidance. Second, it is entirely beyond logical concepts and anything that the intellect can grasp. Until now, writing (at least on a public level) has for me been a way of communicating clearly and with structure. And here is my first attempt at doing it by feel.
What is the dark side?
Venturing into realms of defining what is non existent on the verbal plane, I’ll give you what feels most real to me among words.
It is no think — it is all feel.
It is no hide — it is all open.
It is non conditioned — it is all pure.
It is eat, sleep, fuck repeat.
It is a force field.
It is non-compromising desire.
It is violence.
It is all pervading love.
It is the oneness as well as separation.
It is no mind and full intuition.
It is destruction.
It is extremes.
It is polarity.
It is intense.
It is fearless.
It is all free.
It is no time.
Why you get grounded in your dark side.
You might wonder what it is that you gain from indulging in your dark side. It might look like some rather unpleasant shit that gets you into trouble. Let me tell you why I feel it will be valuable to you.
As humans we seek for integration. Experienced this deep aggression? That urge to devour her? The lust to just scream? But you did not act on any? It comes from inner conflicts. You dark side is seeking expression and you let it not. However I do not recommend you beat or rape someone, we will get to ways of (legal) expression in a second.
Bottom line here is that by allowing your dark side have its place in your life, you find some more peace of mind.
Hiding something of yourself prevents you from fully being yourself. You drift into lack of authenticity and realness. Coming to terms with your darkness, dancing with your demons makes you a being of higher truth. And that gives you power. You feel alignment.
Being and integrated human enables you to move fearless. Your actions come from a place of deep realness, of true you. And it is simply much more fun to live that way :)
Expression becomes more powerful and more real. This is closely tied to the former mentioned fearlessness. Whoever you are, whatever you do, you yourself and others will feel the magic behind it.
Your range of experience increases. Big time. You can connect with others on a much deeper level — your demons allowed to dance together. In places and people you discover new dimensions while you tune into your dark side. Your best sex could be in beast mode.
How to get grounded in your dark side.
In my case, my beast was starving. So I fed it. And you should do so, too, if you haven’t lately. How exactly? Everyone is different here. Go places that feel dark. Get awkward and feel through in it. Tell an unpleasant truth to someone. Admit to yourself your deepest, darkest desires, write them down or on an advanced level, express them to someone and feel how it feels. When in doubt, always kiss the girl. When you are in the mood, instead of being polite be provocative and tell people they suck. Watch Fight Club. Surrender to your weaknesses. No hide, no pretend — all open.
Do whatever feels right, now, or do what you are most afraid of.
Before you begin be aware of something. This is not going fully cold and no emotion. It is about the opposite. It is not global hate and no emotional starvation. It is your unique way of loving through the dark.
Go for it.
You know you are right when you enjoy it.