“You only use me and abuse me”

I can’t decide if this is phrase “you only use me and abuse me” is funny or sad to me. Don’t think any one is really getting abused or anything. This is coming from a man, let’s name him Charlie, who I have had some sort of “relationship” with for the last few years.

Charlie and I first laid eyes on each other one evening when I picked a book my friend had left with him for me. I knew immediately something was different about this guy but I didn’t think much of it. A few weeks later we saw each other at a party. Somehow we ended up locking eyes and met at a corner of the house we were at. He wanted me. Plain and simple. And I wanted him so we gave into the temptation.

Fast forward a few years, on and off communication but still having sex. Whenever we find the need for some fun “no strings attached” good fuck, we just call the other one up. Simple friends with benefits arrangement or at least I have always thought it would be just that. Have I wanted more from the relationship? Fuck yea! But there’s a catch! He cheated on his old gf with me (ugh I know I fucked up) and now that he’s single I’m not (ugh x2). I never thought I would be the cheating type but there’s something about this guy. He has been the only person Ive cheated on my boyfriend with but I always thought it was just sex with him. I never thought he would want anything else from me but then he hits me with the “you only use me and abuse me” insinuating that I am the puppet master here with no feelings…am I? Maybe. But truth be told I wish we had developed a healthier foundation for our relationship earlier on because at this point the thought of having something serious with Charlie just scares the shit out of me.

Thanks for reading…

-S