Day 73: I was a bimbo once, and young

Ah yes, bimbo days. I had ’em.

Froofy big hair, shiny fabrics, tight fit, high heels, makeup.

Sometimes I cannot believe the things I wore — wore because I thought they made me look sexy, which I understood to be the main purpose of clothes.

Here I am on my 30th birthday, wearing a dress that I bought in the juniors department just because I could:

Yes, that is a leopard print spandex-cotton blend. It shows as much thigh as my high school skirts.

Here I am in a gold foil dress for another company Christmas party … I never wore this dress, or the 30th birthday dress, again. Thank God.

And lest you think I was suffering from oppression because of these clothes, here is a happy Polaroid taken by my boyfriend:

How does a nice Catholic girl from Ohio wind up like this?

Well, that’s just the point … nothing is more inflamed than an untamed Catholic girl from a small town. She goes to the big city (Seattle) and forgets everything she ever knew about good taste and modesty.

Oh, but wait.

There was that time when I was 18, working at Montgomery Ward’s in the Sandusky Mall, and a manager asked if I would help them sell car wax.

By lounging on a sports car.

In a bikini.

I told my friend Dan that I’d be “modeling” at the mall that day, not mentioning the bathing suit. So he came to see me, with his mother.

I heard him scream before I saw him.

I’m writing about my bimbo days to remind myself that:

1. My “sexy” clothing choices, though conventional, did give me some pleasure.

2. I have not always been fat and old.

3. When I look askance at the dreadful clothes that 20-something women wear today, I just should shut up.

Today’s penny is a 1989, the last year I bought a dress in the juniors department.

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Originally published at www.lisaschnellinger.com on September 17, 2015.

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