God Damn UNICEF Commercials

There I was, sprawled out on the floor, dying my hair rose gold on my day off while drinking a homemade gin gimlet, and on the TV comes this image of a small baby face, presumably looking directly into my soul. It’s mission: Muddy the waters between my rationale and my brain chemistry. No, no! The Sarah McLachlin-esque tune spirals my prefrontal lobe into a panic to find the remote while guilting my medulla into the arms of these 3rd world angels, commanding me to weather the psychological sludge that is remorse for my Passion of The Christ reimagining of their hardship and how I’m not doing anything about it because SYMMETRICAL INNOCENT CHUB MANDIBLES.

The baby’s face was succeeded by a block of white text on black:

“No parent should have to watch their child suffer.”

Annnnnnnnnd, I’m done. Ethically, people should want to prevent the CHILDREN from suffering, NOT the parents from WATCHING the child suffer. Yet, this is purposeful and it is smart. Get parents to imagine themselves in that position with a direct call to action and you’ve got exponentially more funding. Just depressing knowing people are more incited by the idea of watching their child suffer than the idea of saving the suffering children from said suffering.