First comes love…then comes…Part 1
So I’m here writing because I was told it could be therapeutic.
We will see, won’t we? I’ve written here and there on here but this will be your formal introduction to me and my life. My crazy, crazy life.
First off, I love the word “so” and I love using ellipses… and you will deal. Ok, got that out the way.
Hi, I’m Lita and as you can read above in my bio, I’m a 30 something (closer to 35 than 30 at this point) single mom of two boys. They are 4 and (almost) 8. I was married to their father who is currently in the military for about 8 years. Let’s see, I grew up in a Christian home. I learned very early first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby…no one told me about the sociopath part. It was 2006ish when I met him, I was 22 about to be 23. Green as they came but you couldn’t tell me that, in my eyes I knew everything. My grandma had recently passed and that bothered me more than I wanted to let on. Dated on and off with a few guys, no one caught my interest long term. I took a job at a daycare center. I was the assistant afternoon teacher and I really enjoyed it. The kids there were so fun and there was this one child in particular, let’s call her Addison. Addison was soooo cute and so sweet. Her father was so attractive to me, his walk, the way he talked. I really had a crush on him…fast forward a year and some months, more than a few dates, and a deployment later and he was much more than a crush, he was my husband.
Looking back, I could’ve kicked myself. No way I knew this man, but at that age, you couldn’t tell me shit. I remember my mom telling me not to marry him. She never could give me a concrete reason why but she knew he wasn’t it. I was so young, never had been married and here I was risking it all for a 27 year old divorcee, active duty soldier, “single father”. But he was worth it to me at that point and no one could tell me differently. Tony was the perfect guy. He took me out and “loved” me in a way no one else had before. He reminded me so much of my father, and being an only child, that was a HUGE thing. He had this little jealousy thing but it was no biggie, he never hit me. Months after our marriage, cracks in the mirror began.
These are my true stories, my memoirs as the former wife of a Narcissistic Sociopath. I'm going to post little stories about the things I have witnessed and experienced while dealing with someone who has an un-diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder.
So, I guess we can start with what is a Narcissistic Sociopath and how do you spot them?
According to Healthyplace.com, here are the signs:
- A driven quest for power. If a narcissistic sociopath cares about anything other than himself, it is destructive power and control over people.
- Behaviors that seek love and admiration. To be sure, this isn’t needy love. It’s not even emotional love. It’s superficial. A narcissistic sociopath sees love and admiration as power tools to manipulate and dominate (Do Sociopaths Even Have Feelings?).
- No apologies, no guilt, no remorse under any circumstance. A sociopathic narcissist believes that she is a gift to the world who makes it richer and more colorful. Therefore, her calculated, even cruel actions are always justified.
- Invincibility. The narcissistic variety of sociopath believes he is indomitable. Even punishment and prison can’t stop him. They’re merely part of the game.
- Wholly self-serving. The needs and wants of others are insignificant and undeserving of consideration.
- Act as the producer, director, and only actor of his own show. The narcissistic sociopath casts people in roles that increase his power and sense of importance and when bored, casts them aside.
Man, if I could go back 10 years, this information would have made all the change in my life. I don’t know how many parts to this “series” I’m going to do, I guess until I get tired or no longer feel the need to vent. Now that you have been introduced to me, kind of, I’ll be writing stories as they come. Remember, these are true…even if they feel fake lol. Life has been that funny. I hope you enjoy reading this and if you don’t it’ll still be therapeutic to me.