White Man
I’ve almost deleted this post three times. After all, I am no blogger. I am just a man.
I Am a White Man.
I was born in small town, Texas and even though we were relatively poor when I was young (my family lived in an average trailer park in a mobile home, my mom once scraped up a dinner that had fallen on the floor and served it anyway because we couldn’t afford to waste it, we bought school clothes and Christmas gifts via layaway at WalMart & KMart, etc), I have always known the social advantage that has been afforded to me for no other reason than my gender and the color of my skin.
Yes, I am a white man. More than that, I am a heterosexual white man. Taking it one step further, I am a heterosexual white man who also happened to be born a U.S. citizen.
Born This Way
I guess my point is that I have always known a life of privilege. Much has been afforded to me simply because I was born this way in this place in this time.
I cannot and do not wish to change who I am. I believe God made me just the way he wanted.
But I do wish to change the way I respond to the undeserved advantage of white privilege. For me, that starts by acknowledging it, owning it, wrestling with the implications of it, and searching my soul to determine if their are attitudes and behaviors in me or to which I have been complicit that must change.
For one thing, I am no longer willing to stand by or remain silent in the midst of violence, racism, and other injustices perpetuated against those who are not like me. I now realize that I have done this most of my life and that my silence was not as passive as I thought. No, I have participated in hate crimes, crimes against women, and more every time I laughed at hateful jokes, excused or explained away others evil behavior, or simply said nothing in the wake of oppressive behavior.
Please Forgive Me. I Have Sinned.
I apologize. I ask for forgiveness. I repent and acknowledge my need for help. I want to pursue a better way forward, but I admit that I am incredibly ignorant. I will need guides. I will need mentors and friends who are not other white males. I will need room to make mistakes and to be held accountable for those mistakes so that I can grow. I will need the loving patience of my savior, Jesus, and my brothers and sisters in Christ of all nationalities, genders, sexualities, ethnicities, political ideologies, and so on.
#PrayForCharleston
For the past two days, I have wanted to speak out concerning the act of violence in Charleston, SC. My heart aches for my brothers and sisters there who have been the victims of yet another vicious hate crime. I have wanted to show my support, but didn’t want to say something that might cause further harm. Because the truth is I really don’t know what to say or how to say it or even if I have the right to say anything.
So I pray. And I ask you to please join me. Here is an example of what to pray, if you are like me, and sometimes struggle to find the words:
Pray for the members of Emmanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church. Pray for the families and friends and loved ones affected by nine lives cut short. Pray for a young man so full of hate that he would carry out this murderous plot. Pray that he would repent and be changed. Pray for race reconciliation in this country like you’ve never prayed for it before. Pray for me that I can move beyond the place I am now to one of greater love and compassion and activism.
And after you’ve prayed, if you want to keep the conversation going, to help me along, to struggle with me, then by all means please reach out. I thank you in advance.
