Adrien O’Leary , Great question!

On vocabulary.com they offer this definition:

A trigger is a metal lever that when pulled discharges a gun. You shoot the gun by pulling the trigger. Trigger can also mean the start of a process — violent protests might trigger a revolution.

Certain scents, places, or old love songs can be said to trigger, or activate, memories. If you get weepy when you hear the national anthem, that may be because it triggers thoughts of family, home, baseball and the Fourth of July. For someone in frail health, a seemingly minor problem like getting a common cold, might trigger a series of physical responses that end up landing them in the hospital.

I was using the word “trigger” to mean that point where we allow something our child does (an action or behavior) to invoke a certain emotional reaction within us, that we then project onto the child.

When my daughter started to cry and throw herself on the floor, for seemingly no reason, I had the CHOICE to react or respond in many ways.

What causes a parent to get angry, scared, or threatening with their child who is throwing a tantrum?

The emotion in the child is “triggering” something in the adult that makes them feel powerless.

It could be the belief that, if I were a good parent, my child would be happy.

Maybe the emotion is bringing up the parent’s unshed tears and is too painful to hear.

The most important thing to remember when your child is expressing emotions is that it is healthy and normal.

AND that it is not about you. There is nothing for you to fix.

Be witness, be quiet, offer empathy, compassion and love.

I hope that is helpful! Contact me anytime with questions:)