Letters to Liv

A Scandal Recap Through the Eyes of Olivia Pope’s Black Friend

Dear Liv,

Girl…I’m looking at a picture of you and that boy-president of yours outside of the WH kissing like y’all are in some Nicholas Sparks movie. I know you explained this, but it’s different when I have a visual. Sigh… We’ll come back to this bullsh*t later because I’d like to keep my breakfast down.

Anyway, the hunt for Mama Pope was pretty short, yeah? LOL! You would think that an international terrorist would hide her tracks better, but a few traffic cameras and complete lack of privacy afforded to regular Americans by the NSA and VOILÀ, y’all found Mama Pope’s hideout. I bet bae Jake looked hot in his tactical gear and holding his gun. #Swoon I love that your dad was directing the operation while Ghost villain sat in the wings pretending he was in charge of it all as your other two men (#PapaPope and bae Jake) were doing the real work. Did it seem odd to you though, when they didn’t find your mom in her hideout, that she had left so much information about her plans lying around in the open? I mean, she obviously wasn’t trying to get caught, but it doesn’t seem as though she was trying to keep it on the DL either, especially since it led Jake to her exact location in that hotel. I love that #MamaPope was about to get her swirl on to get some information. LOL! Y’all have that in common. (Yeah, I said it. LOL!).

So once bae Jake came through (as he always does), y’all locked your mama down in the sunken place were Ghost villain has held your dad and Jake at one time or another (I haven’t forgotten about him punching bae Jake in his pretty face while he was tied up. Bitch-ass mofo). Your mom kept telling y’all that she was trying to help you, and you didn’t believe her, which I get, even though it turns out that she was in fact trying to help you. How did it feel to see your mom in that orange jumpsuit, shackled to the desk and acting a complete fool? That “tick tock” nonsense you described sounds horrible. I can’t imagine having to see my mom like that. True, she left you when you were 12 and you grew up thinking she was dead, then learned that she was a terrorist and an assassin for hire, but she’s still your mom. You still get half of your DNA and part of who you are from her, so I know that sh*t hurt you in a way you’re not ready to explore yet. I get it, Liv. We suppress our emotions and feelings to keep it moving; it’s not healthy, but it’s how we roll.

Mama Pope was not going down without a fight though, right? She gave you a little play of crazy. Then she turned the tables with that “All my life I had to fight” “Black Girl Magic” “Black Women Hold Black Men Down and Get No Reciprocity” think piece she gave your dad. That was epic. At first, I was like, oh this heffa is on one, then I was like, wait a minute, she’s keeping it 100, and by the end, I was yelling “TELL THEM THE TRUTH MAYA!! Lay out them receipts!” LOL! Your mama almost had me side-eying dafuq out of your dad like, “you betta put some respeck on Maya Pope’s name, Rowan”. Then I remembered the whole, she married him because he was a mark, manipulated him, used him, had a plane full of people blown up, abandoned you, tried to kill everybody, was hired to kill Vargas, unleased the #RealLannistersofDC on you and your friends, and was in town to kill Mellie… LOL! She was still on point though.

What I do find fascinating is the affect your mom still has on your dad. He thought he’d broken her, but when he finally went to talk to her, after refusing to do so until he thought she had lost control, she was the one who pulled him in and pushed his buttons. Talking about y’alls family vacation? She got Rowan to bite, reeled him in, and left your dad shook. He really loved that woman, didn’t he? It’s not easy for monsters to love, and when they do, and then get hurt, it just makes them more monstrous. I think Rowan can’t let go because Maya beat him at his own game and he didn’t see it coming and that fact rocked him to the core of his being. That’s probably why he left her locked up for two decades instead of killing her. He had feelings and she played him and he probably still doesn’t understand how or why. Whew…your parents are a trip.

What was worse than Rowan getting played, however, was your attempt to play your mama. Girl… GIRL! Really? You tried it. LOL! You thought that overly dramatic “I’m going to save you” “Where is your water, have you eaten?” banging on the glass elementary school play acting that fools Ghost villain regularly, was going to fool your mama? She birthed you, bitch. LOL! She is the original big bad. She played Rowan like a fiddle. Did you really think she was going to believe you when you’re the one who sent your man bae Jake to collect her? As if she didn’t know you were looking at her through that glass the entire time? I’m going to need you to pay attention to who you’re dealing with. Your next tactic…threatening your mama, was just a stupid. She spent 22 years locked up in a super-max with only Rowan to visit her. She chewed threw her own wrists to get out of said super-max and killed a Senator in an attempt to lure Ghost villain out into the open and blow him up. Why in the HELL would she be afraid of you? What I don’t understand is why, when you saw your mama was giving zero fux about your threats, you proceeded to wrap your manicured fingers around her neck and choke her. Biiiitch!!! I was screaming. WTF were you thinking? Olivia! OLIVIA!! Yo’ mama is Black! I’m sure she was looking at you like you had lost your damn mind, and yet still was not afraid of you. I’m so glad that bae Jake pulled you off of her because killing her would have killed you. You don’t put hands on your mom, girl!! I don’t care who she kills or what she’s done. That’s just a solid red line that you do not cross. Mostly, because killing your mom would have f*cked up your emotional life so much that you would have been unrecognizable to yourself. You killing other people? Sure, when it’s necessary. You killing one or both of your parents? No. That’s the line, Liv. That. Is. The. Line.

I like that you were able to turn to your Gladiators and hire them to help you figure out 1) that Mama Pope was hired 2) who had hired her. While you’re not at OPA anymore, it’s good for you to throw the kids a bone every now and again. Did it finally hit you, when you walked into your old office and saw that Quinn had made it her own with her little chair and painting and what not, that you are not that Olivia Pope anymore; that you are part of the power structure now, not fighting it or using it to help your clients? That you, Mellie, and the Grant 2.0 Administration are the client now? Was it weird? LOL! I mean, obviously you were still running the show, but technically you’re not their boss, so they had to figure out this intricate web of lies and deceit on their own. Awh…they’re all grown up now, and Quinn is preggers!! I write that with enthusiasm, but I’m really scared for that kid. LOL! Huck will protect it. Uncle Huck will be on guard for baby Quinnlie or Charquinn, or whatever their hastag name would be if they were famous. #Gladiators

It brings me unmitigated joy that you and bae Jake disregarded Ghost villain’s objections to releasing Mama Pope so you could use her as bait. Ghost villain really has no clue who you really are, does he? I mean, he knows you to a point, but not for real for real. He doesn’t know the “I’m going to strangle my mama” you. That’s why he thought that telling you “no” was actually going to stop you from doing what you wanted to do anyway. Now, the fact that she slipped her tail and removed the tracking devise y’all had implanted wasn’t surprising. She’s an international terrorist and assassin. Y’all really thought she was going to let you track her? It was a solid plan though, because I think you were right. If your mom had stayed in jail, the person behind all of this would have just hired another assassin. Bae Jake understood that, that’s why he helped you. Bae Jake’s so smart and pretty… Why you continue to choose Ghost villain’s bed over Jake’s I will never understand (especially since that mofo had the nerve to call you bossy while you were in his bed about to give him some yet still followed your order, LOL!), but you go ahead and keep doing you boo. LOL! I’ll keep side-eying you and asking the hard questions.

Speaking of hard questions, why in dafuq would Rowan put Ghost villain in charge of B613 Redux? I understand your dad convincing Ghost villain to reinstate it because we all know this sh*t would not have happened if Papa Pope, or Jake was still Command. With that said, however your, dad really knew how to manipulate your boy-president by using you, didn’t he? LOL! Puffing up Ghost villain’s chest by telling him that he could lead the agency because of his military experience, and that he needed to do it to keep your power hungry ass in check. As if Ghost villain ever has or ever will have the mental capacity or emotional intelligence to keep you in check. LOL! It worked though. Ghost villain signed that order so quick and couldn’t wait to tell that he was ‘bout to be a big boy in charge for real this time. Then, of course, you shut that ish down immediately and got him to rescind his order to make himself Command by objecting and pointing out that Papa Pope used him. Let’s keep it real Liv, all that talk of him being “destroyed” by becoming Command just like your dad, was code for, “you not ‘bout that life, boo” wasn’t it? You and I both know that Ghost villain couldn’t lead a prayer, let alone B613. He’s never had to make hard choices, the only body he’s personally dropped was that of an old lady in a hospital bed, and he didn’t even like being POTUS. He doesn’t want to do the real work of being Command, which includes, but is not limited to, such duties as supervising people, training assassins and disciplining mofos by putting them in the hole. That’s why he gave up so easily when you objected. He ain’t a killa for real.

Your little disagreement with Ghost villain over B613 explains why you were in your feels when he was about to peace out from the WH. After the drama of the inauguration, y’all not knowing where the bullet was coming from or where ya mama was, #MamaPope calling you to tell you to move your big ass head (LOL!) so she could shoot the person who hired her and not Mellie, and then #PapaPope shooting, but not killing your mom while you were listening; it’s understandable that you were feeling some type of way when Ghost villain was preparing his exit. While y’all could have hugged it out and kissed (blah) in the privacy of the WH, your dramatic ass dismissed him and then ran after him in front of the entire Washington press corps. Girl, when I tell you that I almost lost my lunch when that loop of you running to that mofo came across my television set! I will keep it real, I was screaming “WTF is this basic bitch doing?” at the TV. You know I love you like my sister, but that was the most basic of basic bitch moves that you’ve done in a while. I mean, let’s just put aside the fact that you ruined the last moments of his presidency by running out there. You also rehashed, for America, the affair that tainted his presidency, and dragged the Grant 2.0 Administration down with you. How, you wonder? That little unnecessary scene simply reminded America that the Chief of Staff of Mellie Grant, the first female president in U.S. history, was f*cking Mellie’s husband when he was president. Not great optics, Liv. Also selfish AF; just saying. Look, if I don’t tell you the truth, who will? LOL! Go ahead and get mad at me for telling you the truth. Tell me where the lie is though? I’ll wait….

So anyhoo, the good thing about letting Mellie risk a bullet to the head in order to have a real inauguration and give millions of women and girls the hope that one day they too can become president (because the guy that beat them was murdered on Election Night and his running mate was framed for said murder), was that is fleshed out the person behind this whole plot. Finally. The person was on stage!! So close to everything. Though Mama Pope didn’t get a chance to take the person out, it gave you and the Gladiators enough information to figure out that the big bad behind all of this madness was Luna a.k.a. “Lunatic” Vargas.

Girrrrrlll!!! I told you that you couldn’t trust that bitch!! Did I not say that? Now, obviously, I didn’t know the extent of her treachery, but I knew that heffa was suspect. I mean, who takes to the Sunday news show circuit after her husband is murdered on national TV, moments after winning the presidential election, to come for his defeated opponent? A treacherous bitch with her own agenda, that’s who! Liv, girl…and she wasn’t even apologetic!

Did this bitch really tell you that she had her husband killed because she didn’t want to be first lady? Because divorce isn’t an option these days? WTF? #GirlBye Lunatic Vargas was a savage and I almost have a little bit of respect for her. Almost. The bitch overplayed her hand though when she told you that you couldn’t do anything about her being VP. LOL! She clearly did not know ‘bout you. Lunatic Vargas obviously did not know with whom she was dealing because if she had, she would have apologized, resigned and disappeared. But alas, she had gone too far, and done too much to simply be allowed to leave and live.

I know you were frustrated by Lunatic Vargas’ assertion that she was here to stay, but you knew, even before your mama reminded you of who dafuq you are and who your mutha f*cking parents are, what you had to do. That’s why you told bae Jake to kill that bitch without saying a word. Now, I have to state for the record, that your nonverbal communication with Jake is f*cking phenomenal.

#RelationshipGoals

You said nothing, but conveyed everything you wanted on your face and he knows you so well that he knew exactly what you were saying without you having to say it. GIRL!! That’s real love. Say what you want about Ghost villain, but y’all have never communicated like that. Not even close. To add more truth to these facts, you bossed up and handled Lunatic Vargas by giving that heffa a choice in how she died. LOL! Not a choice of whether or not she was going to die because the bitch signed her death certificate when she fuq’d with you. You did, however, give her the courtesy of choosing to die peacefully in her sleep with pills, or by a shot to the face from bae Jake. I LOVE how you and Jake went all Natural Born Killers on that bitch and took her life with no hesitation or remorse.

You then put your big girl panties on and reinstated B613 without Mellie’s knowledge and made yourself Command. BITCH!!! BIIITCH!!! I am so proud of you and hella afraid of you right now!! I guess you got tired of mutha f*ckers locking up power positions and not yielding said power the right way (i.e. your way), so you decided to assume all of the power. LOL! I am not mad at you, boo. I’ve been waiting for this Olivia Pope to show up for a while now. She was always there, but on some “white hat” bullsh*t. The white hat is gone, girl. It’s no longer being manufactured and the existing hats have been incinerated. LOL!

As if you bossing up weren’t enough, you finally learned that Cyrus is still, in fact, the Head Monster In Charge when he basically repeated Lunatic Vargas’ rationale for killing her hubs… verbatim. He planted the seed in her head and she ran with that sh*t all the way to your terrorist mama and the #RealLannistersOfDC. LOL! I can’t with y’all. Rather than lock him up, you’re going to make Cy VP so you can keep a watchful eye on him, while keeping Mellie under control, and bae Jake within arm’s reach. You are the truth, Liv. You’re the biggest and baddest bitch now, and I FUX with you!! LOL! Enjoy the spoils of your victory, girl. You earned it. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I introduce to you, Olivia Carolyn Pope, giver of zero fux, killer of bitches who cross her, Hand of the Queen, and Command. Well done, girl. Well. F*cking. Done.

Hugs!!

Ya Girl

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