Mad Men Series Finale Review as written by Every TV Critic Ever

Note to readers, this review is written from the point of view of someone who has not watched the Mad Men series finally, as it has not yet aired. Fake spoilers abound.

It was perfect. He didn’t jump. We didn’t flash forward into the future. We just watched one last episode. It was of course always the story of Don Draper, no matter how much we wanted it to be the story of Peggy. Or was it the story of Sally? We will never know. There was no ending, because life is as Don said a carousel going, “around and around, and back home again, to a place where we know are loved.” And just like the carousel, we watched for nostalgia, Mad Men, the ultimate time machine.

What a brave choice from Matthew Weiner to eschew typical sentiments for what a finale should be and instead just show 60 minutes of Don chain smoking cigarettes while looking out a window. The addition of real time nap-taking was especially inspired. It was clear that Weiner was making a powerful comment about the apathy of American citizens in regard to politics. When contacted about this theory Weiner stated, “How many times have a told you, there is no subcontext to the show, it is simply a guy selling ads and cheating on his wives.” Clearly from his comment we know he wants us to search for more.

And search for more we did. Color has always been important throughout the run of Mad Men. The presence of yellow in the fashion present in this finale mimics the long hot sun setting on Don’s life. The appearance of red flecks in the carpet speak to his past explosive life. Plus, we have to mention the use of brown which is clearly a reference to chocolate, a message to fans that no matter how much Don changes, he is still a Whitman’s sampler man at heart.

According to sources, the choice to have only Don appear in the episode was partly financial as Weiner chose to license the entirety of the Beatles, Let It Be album using 30 seconds of each song before every commercial break. Costing a reported 3.5 million dollars, this was quite a gamble which paid off in spades because without those songs, we may have thought this was a flash forward finale.

Don didn’t jump. Or did he? Was the entire series not one long jump? A seven year allegory about the dangers of material desires? No, it wasn’t. It was just a story about a man.

What will we do with our Sundays now that Mad Men is over?

Watch Game of Thrones like everyone else.

It is with a heavy heart that I sign off this final review, buy the world a Coke for me.

This piece is parody and was written by someone who reads way too many tv reviews. Nothing in this piece is true in any way. Except for the part about watching Game of Thrones.