Kids who need families want STABLE families as instability is 99% of the time the reason they lost…
Alice Bell
31

“Posting “pleas for financial help” regularly online makes it sound like you’re in some pretty dire straits.”

Thanks for also checking on my bank account and financial planning! Your concern is heartwarming.

A pregnancy and birth will mean tens of thousands of dollars in hospital bills…”

Who said anything about a hospital? In any case, I’m glad you’ve informed me about the well-known costs of pregnancy and childbirth. I’m so crazy and stupid that I never could have found that out for myself through a simple Google search or talk with any of the parents I know!

“…when you can barely take care of yourself…”

Have you been staring through the window into my room with the yellow wallpaper? (That’s a literary reference, in case you missed it.) Next time just knock on the pane to remind me of all the ways I’m failing at life!

“It sounds like you just want to make your boyfriend a baby because you desperately want to create an identity for yourself.”

Well, I don’t have a boyfriend (to my knowledge…but I am crazy after all! Hahahahaha SIGH), but I do have a partner, so my desire to be a mother must be completely tied to him and to my lack of identity! (Aside from the ones I’ve cultivated for myself — writer, activist, feminist, friend, daughter, etc…but those don’t count, right?)

“You’ve mentioned having bipolar — wanting a baby with your recently reconnected high school boyfriend is probably just a symptom of this.”

Dr. Bell! You’ve solved the mystery! Months of discussions with my partner about our future (as parents and otherwise) must be a manic phase! I’m so glad you shared your ample psychological/psychiatric experience with me!

“Never enter a relationship or try to have a baby out of spite or desperation. It sounds like you have a lot you’re trying to prove to the world and it sounds almost guaranteed you’ll hurt yourself and other people in the process.”

Ooo, “spite or desperation”! Those are new. I’ll have to explore what exactly I’m spiteful of or desperate for in therapy…but I’m pretty sure that I’m incapable of proving anything to anyone. Least of all a random person on the internet.

“…having a baby with no foundation for yourself…”

I’m happy to have you as such an intimate part of my life that you know all the cracks in my foundation. The personal time we’ve spent together over coffee and pints of Ben & Jerry’s has really helped me, you know?

Sarcasm aside: you can read as much of my writing or dig into my social media as much as you want, lady. But since you actually don’t know me (shocker!), I’d advise you to keep your advice away from my family and my uterus and focus on whatever you’ve got going for yourself.

But what do I know? You’re a complete stranger and I have no business giving you advice.

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