I’m an artist, not a designer

In the last two weeks, I’ve been watching lots of videos and taking lots of notes, as well as doing a few worksheets and planning in order to start a jewelry business. I’ve always called myself a jewelry designer, even though it’s been about eight years since I designed my last jewelry piece. Before my son was born, I was enrolled in a silversmithing course and having lots of fun learning to do magic with metal and fire. And before that, I had an online presence selling my jewelry, intricately beadwoven pieces that combined various different techniques and media, anything that caught my fancy.

Then I learned that, to be a successful designer and sell my jewelry, I had to focus on a “dream client”, even give her a name, and choose to do one very specific type of jewelry that would attract this person. If I was already feeling somewhat anxious about all of it, trying to learn business things when I’m really not that passionate about business, after I watched those videos about a dream client, I got a serious case of anxiety: so, in order to sell my jewelry, I wouldn’t be able to do anything I like anymore? I wouldn’t be able to express my inspiration freely and would have to focus all my efforts doing always the same things, in order to catch this specific person’s attention and earn lots of money? And that otherwise, I’d not be able to sell anything I made, because my jewelry would be “all over the place”?

I was hurting inside, I felt my inspiration was being put in a cage and my self-expression would have its wings clipped, not being able to fly anymore. Even then, I plodded on, doing the exercises, reading lots of comments, people genuinely happy because things were finally making sense for them, while I felt more and more anxious because I just couldn’t get this “perfect client” thing. What does she like? She likes art and books and music, anything that catches her fancy. She loves travelling for the experience of it and, of course, she appreciates good food, not necessarily something in small portions artistically presented, but a meal that leaves a nice tingly sensation of being well fed and beautiful aftertaste in her mouth. What does she wear? Something elegant, basic and simple, like a blank canvas, not because she has classic tastes, but because she wants to showcase unusual accessories and artistic jewelry. What is her age? I don’t know, she could be as young as 20 or as old as 100… Is she married? Does she have kids? And pets? What TV shows does she watch? Where does she go on a Saturday night? Well, if there’s one thing I know, is that I simply can’t answer those questions. I’m not making jewelry for a specific person. I’m making jewelry to express something that is inside me, something that inspired me, something that finally got a shape after I tried to draw, to represent my thoughts and feelings.

Yesterday evening, my husband asked me how this training thing was going. He loves to see me try new things, learn new things, he always praises my, in his words, “ability of learning anything I put my mind into”. And he knows a ton about marketing, it’s part of what he does for a living. So I told him that I can’t get it, it’s all Greek to me, how am I supposed to cut out an enormous part of my art and focus on only one type of jewelry, and not express all that inspires me anymore? I feel I wouldn’t be doing something good, or authentic, or that I believe in…

Then he told me: “Then you are not a jewelry designer. If you can’t focus on a client, you are an artist. This need to create freely is artistic expression, you shouldn’t be trying focus your efforts in sales and clients, you should be focusing on making your art, putting all of you into it, AND of course being seen, being known, finding your audience. “O artista tem que ir aonde o povo está”, the artist has to go where his audience is, as we say in Portuguese.

And he completed, “Remember when you had your online store in a time when nobody had one, and the beautiful things you sold? Remember how it was the fancier pieces, the most expensive pieces, the ones you put a lot of work and your whole heart into, that were sold the easier? You’ll find a way to sell your things, don’t worry, your audience will find you if you go back to making things with your heart, with your talent, with your artistry and go out there and become visible again.”

Even though my path isn’t that of a jewelry businesswoman, but that of an artist whose medium is jewelry, and even though the art approach is very different from the business one, an artist must also learn to manage her time and to get visibility, to go out there and meet people. So I’m very, sincerely grateful for all the new things I’ve learned in these two weeks, because they made me find my path. And let go of what I’m not. And the anxiety I was feeling is finally, finally going away…