This is a writing experiment. It’s not a diary, nor a commitment to a long text. Right now, I don’t want to commit to a specific number of words, and I won’t work on developing an idea fully.
I just need a writing ‘warm up’, a stretching of my writing ‘muscles’, putting ideas on a blank page. It may look random for a while, but I’m good with it.
Yesterday I was thinking about the time we’ve been here in NYC. It’s been only 15 days, but it feels longer. ‘A’ tells me he thinks it’s the place; that it’s conducive to getting things done. I told him I think it’s more of a ‘do or die’ situation. We adapt, we do things or we feel the discomfort. Sometimes, extreme discomfort.
It’s near Passover, and this brings to mind a similar situation. Maybe it was like that in the ‘desert’: you do what you have to do. Otherwise, you die.
I’m in a date with this city, this incredible place. Getting to know it (don’t know yet if it’s a her or a him…) Some things I like. Some things I hate with a passion, so much so I want to get up and leave. Some things I love. Like the way it made me jump in and do things I’ve been wanting to do for a long time, as if it was saying ‘Just do it!’
The traffic is horrible, though. And still unpredictable. I thought I was navigating it well, that I had gotten the knack of timetables and distances, but maybe not.
Or maybe the city decided I was getting too complacent and it was its way of telling me ‘no you don’t, you’re still new here’. Oh, the anguish. I felt I failed miserably (even if I didn’t). And maybe that’s another lesson I’ll have to learn fast, in this city’s do-or-die pace: humility.