Book of Jo: When bad things happen to almost good people
Part 2: Why me?
Start with Part 1. Or read a quick, spoiler-free synopsis.
September 19, 2016
Monday, 9:30 am
Going to the office is like going to heaven. After a brief stop in the purgatory that is the Ocean Coffee Cart, I take the elevator to the top floor of a small yet prestigious office building. I’m one of just ten executives at Anderson Brooks Communications who get a private office and a hundred million dollar view.
I shut the door behind me and look out my floor-to-ceiling window at the tiny people on the sidewalk below. They are drinking coffee, buying snacks, and, most of all, hurrying. They make me think of ants, purposeful yet insignificant. I wonder if this is how we look to God and then dismiss the thought. I haven’t been to church in more than ten years, and I don’t believe God is really distinguishable from the universe at large.
“Hey there, gorgeous! There’s an all hands meeting in the big conference room.”
I look up and see Jack, my assistant, standing in my doorway. He’s tall, lanky, and twenty three, with a sensitive face and a slightly hooked nose. I roll my eyes. He really shouldn’t call me “gorgeous” or “honey” or “superstar,” but I’ve been lax in correcting him. I guess I just don’t feel I’m old enough for “ma’am.”
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“It’s a surprise!” he says with a wink.
I stand and follow Jack to the conference room, which is already filling up. Technically, as an executive, I could claim one of the fancy black chairs around the table. But I cede my seat to Olive, an account manager who’s also eight months pregnant. Her face is puffy and tired, and her ankles swell over the tops of her shoes like rising dough. She sinks into the chair with visible relief. I wonder if I’m seeing my future.
“Can I get you anything?” I ask, pointing to the table, which is covered in heaping plates of food.
“Nope,” says Olive, patting her stomach. “I’m full.”
I take a closer look at the spread. It’s prodigious, signaling either news so good it must be celebrated or so bad that we’ll need edible comfort. I quickly pass by the healthy options like hummus and vegetables and locally grown apples to focus on the decadent pastries, cakes and pies. I reach down and grab a couple of overstuffed chocolate croissants.
“Leave some for the rest of us, why dontcha?” Scott Pander, our vice president of business development, winks at me and takes a lemon crueler. My appetite for junk food is a running joke around the office.
I’m biting into the croissant when Whitney Brooks steps to the front of the room. Whitney is an elegant-looking man in his fifties who looks like a king and runs his agency like a despot. Since he forced Art Anderson to retire four years ago, he’s grown the business from a small, five-person shop to a 100-person juggernaut.
Whitney raises his hand, and the room instantly quiets.
“Good afternoon, everyone.”
“Good afternoon,” we reply in unison.
“I bet you’re all wondering why you’re here.”
Heads nod, but no one speaks.
“I’ll keep it short and to the point, “ he says, pausing for dramatic effect. “I’ve called this meeting to say that you’ve all kicked some serious ass this quarter.”
There’s an audible gasp. Whitney rarely uses profanity and keeps a swear jar in his office. Drop a stray F-bomb in his presence, and you’ll find yourself heading out to the ATM to withdraw $100. He uses the money he collects to buy fragile, antique office chairs that we’re all too scared to sit on.
“Our friends at Western Bank are very grateful for the way we handled their latest derivatives situation,” he says, nodding in my direction. “Starting today, we’ll be handling the PR for their entire North American operation.”
People are smiling and exchanging hopeful glances. Such a large expansion could mean raises, bonuses, and promotions.
“This was a big win for the whole team. You’ll all be receiving a one-time performance bonus this quarter. You’ll see it on your direct deposit statements.”
There are cheers and some of the bolder associates start clapping. Soon, everyone is on their feet, even Olive, who rises with a groan. Whitney allows the clapping to continue for about a minute before he raises his hand for silence.
“One more thing. I’d like Joanna Goodman to come to front of the room.”
Oh my God, he called my name. My head is spinning, and I wonder if this is a symptom of early pregnancy. I take a deep breath and walk slowly to the front of the room, collecting high fives and thumbs ups. Whitney motions for me to stand beside him. I stand as tall and straight as possible and smile at my co-workers.
“As most of you know, Joanna led our efforts to manage Western’s public profile during their recent crisis. She exhibited tremendous leadership and grace under pressure.”
I feel my face getting warm. I know I’m starting to blush. I can accept compliments gracefully, even casually, but this kind of public praise makes me slightly nauseated.
“I’m pleased to announce that Joanna has been promoted to Executive Vice President of Account Services, effective immediately.”
Whitney hugs me and presses and envelope into my hand. His breath smells strongly of mint. “You deserve this,” he murmurs in my ear.
Back at my desk, I unfold the envelope and tear it open. It is a check for $100,000. I think of all the possibilities this unlocks, and they swirl around my hypothetical future child like brightly colored streamers. A beautiful nursery. A devoted nanny. An exclusive preschool, followed by private schools and college.
Once again, I am blessed with outrageously good fortune. I’m excited, but also strangely uneasy. I think back to my conversation with Cedar this morning. I wonder: why me?
Book of Jo is a homeless novella that is going to crash on Medium for a few months. I will release new parts on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, until the whole story has been posted.
Read Part 1.
Read Parts 3 & 4.
Read Parts 5 & 6.
Read Parts 7 & 8.
Read Parts 9 & 10.
Read Part 11.
Read Parts 12 & 13.
Read Parts 14 & 15.
Read Parts 16 & 17.
Read Parts 18 & 19.
Read Parts 20 & 21.
Read Parts 22 & 23.
Read Parts 24 & 25.
