•BLK XP•
If only able to declare a singular word to describe how it feels to exist as a black body in America, “exhausting” comes to mind quickly & easily. To watch black skin (& the features associated with it) be pimped, abused, vilified & destroyed by both sides of the law, both rich and poor, both young and old, both white and black…”exhausting” is the very *least* that comes to mind as a descriptor of Black sentiment. Tired of fitting descriptions even when I do not match them, being called lazy despite hard work, pushing the culture forward without fanfare or fee, trying to fit in while trying to stand out, feeling torn between ‘save my people’ & ‘save myself’ while simply ‘numbing the pain’ looks like the most inviting option available.
The real crooks at large are protected by the millennium lynch mob wearing badges as they uphold the standard of devaluing minority life into celebrity or imprisonment. Make the “luxury of living” off of the backs of others, all while keeping on an air of deservedness that’s as thin & nonexistent as the bridges of their noses. or how their lips & hips used to be. Many do not deserve the skin that coats their bodies, yet are rewarded with much more. having an empty heart means nothing to those with pockets full of riches. the semi-poor have to worry about the pocket-holes of the poor, & how cold do they have to become before they hold the heat to your rooftop for a few sips of something warm.
Sons help reproduce into high pressure situations, all while trying to push against the world for just enough space to breathe. many end up learning to breathe deep in shallow spaces, alive, but never at ease. many do not realize or understand: what is being done to others is also being done to them. Witnessing a crime has an effect. Being the one who didn’t stop the crime has an effect. Denying that the crime ever took place has an effect. All events are merely isolated taps against the psyche’s windshield. Blacks, in this country & abroad, have had their collective windshield repeatedly kicked in without so much as a knock’s notice. Yet, hardly ever is a grieving period granted. Cries of exclusion & separationism get wildly flung about without reason or rhyme. If there is a simple nick against the collective anything of mainstream America? weeping en mass will take place & “how dare one be so inhuman as to suggest that they can’t grieve? and why isn’t everyone grieving?”
right. move along, nothing to see.
poison is repackaged as produce. water does wonders for black bodies when a little lead is laced in it. education is a luxury that our children’s children won’t even have the option to afford; it will become non-existent. the police bypass the process of the law & prosecute on the spot, sending steel statements of sentencing to the souls of men, piercing the hearts of the women & children simultaneously. it’s exhausting being the hunted. even when danger isn’t imminent, it always feels like its right around the corner.
