31 Days of Trans Visibility
Day 5: Talk about dysphoria. Do you experience dysphoria? How does it affect you? What things do you do to cope with it?
Dysphoria is pretty difficult to nail down, for me. Sometimes it’s a severe anxiety and sometimes it’s a crushing depression. I get extremely dysphoric about my chest, especially feeling the movement of it. During shark week, I feel pretty terrible about myself, even though, overall it’s not really that bad. Not a lot of physical symptoms from shark week, just occasional migraines.
Mostly, dysphoria just makes me feel pretty terrible about myself. A lot of the time, I feel like I won’t ever be seen as myself by others, and everything I’m doing is pointless. Generally, reassurance makes me feel a lot better. My partners are really good about helping out with that. I also shave my face, even though I don’t have facial hair yet. The process helps me feel better about myself and helps me to prepare to actually have facial hair. Getting a haircut always helps me out, as well. I’ve also been going back and forth on packing. Not really sure if I want to or not, but I might spring for a cheaper packer to see how I feel about it. Overall, I’m pretty okay with my lower half, but I do think that packing might help some of my pants fit better.