I’m so with you on this one, Mara. The dude is 55. It’s time to put the Just For Men away and age gracefully. I drooled over Maverick and cried when Goose died and Meg Ryan said, “God, he loved flying with you, Maverick”, four times at the theater in 1986. But I was a 16 year old girl with huge hair and an undeveloped brain. I can’t even watch Top Gun now, as it’s so incredibly cringeworthy at every turn. And obviously we can’t bring Charlie into the picture, as Kelly McGillis is out and proud and certainly isn’t still pretending to look twenty-something like Tom is, so which bimbo twenty-something is going to be Maverick’s love interest? Margot Robbie? Probably. I feel the nausea beginning to churn. Val Kilmer wants to reprise his role as Iceman — well, that’ll only be believable if Keith Richards will somehow be playing the role of his father — Iceman Senior.
On a side note, don’t even get me started on The Mummy. Brendan Fraser did that already. Back when he was young and hot. Does anyone remember Brendan? I do. And hey, he’s 48 now and looks it, but that’s okay. We aren’t supposed to be ageless. Harrison Ford proves that — he’s 75 and still weirdly hot. I just want Tom Cruise to go away and count his money. The 80’s are so over, dude. And thank God for that.