If feels like PTSD. I get a knot in my stomach. Sometimes it gets so tight that a deep breath is impossible. It comes with each phone call, each e-mail, each threat. I can feel the engagement of the hypothalamus, that buzzing sensation that wipes out all thought as it physically prepares you to fight Goliath. But my Goliath is no physical giant. It’s two mean people, a couple, paying their lawyer to squash me.

Welcome to the modern world. When did people get so mean? What ever happen to peace, love and understanding? Is kindness dead? What about ethics? Integrity? When did we all become such whores for money?

We all might not have become whores for money, but I became one. Me, the one who prides herself on not being materialistic, on living for art, on not needing material things. I guess I just got tired. A rich couple who loved my work and believed in my talent wanted to be a part of it. I wouldn’t have to struggle alone! I wouldn’t have to struggle! I was blinded by thoughts of a better life.

But the truth is, I didn’t really need these people. They had no knowledge or experience that could turn my art into a business. The lady just wanted to play important socialite and the man just wanted to placate his wife, and ironically, he wanted to do it without spending much money! Those are my opinions, based on the fact that neither person actually did any of the things they had promised to do. I was the stupid little girl that believed those promises without looking clearly into the character and skills that these people brought to the table. I simply believed in their money.

As an artist, my joy is in making beautiful things. All we made was lists. When I was seven, we would drive to Florida, and I would knit. I hated knitting, but my sister did it, and she was perfect. I thought that, maybe, if I fell asleep with the needles in my hand, I would wake up and my scarf would magically be done. Maybe that is how this rich lady thinks. That, if she just makes that list, the items on it will magically complete the tasks themselves. Oh no! Maybe that was my lazy thinking! That hooking up with them would somehow magically make it all happen. My bad! Life does not work that way. Magic is the prize you get when tenacity, talent and intention find their time. Those are all opinions as well.

The mean people, in a huff, packed up their toys and went home. They called some of the neighborhood kids and told them not to play with me anymore. I tried to make it right, but they wouldn’t talk to me. So I just continued creating, because that’s what artists do. But the mean people just got madder and madder. Then, with a pit-bull bite, they attacked. Well, they didn’t directly attack themselves. They let their little army of dollar bills do that. They hired a lawyer and started bullying me through her.

I’m guessing she was also blinded by money, because she behaved very badly. A lawyer’s job is to bully the other guy, but you have to do it within the purview of the law. You can’t just send out libelous statements and threats with no merit. And when you spend nearly a year doing that, it really doesn’t look like good intentions.

One threat was actually funny. The mean people were threatening an injunction of a charity show that I was invited to participate in, and they had the lawyer add a section to the threat, expounding on all the good things the mean lady had done for the show in previous years, as if that would somehow make the meritless destruction of this year’s charity event okay.

But here’s the thing that I have learned from the mess. We all have a warrior within. Find her and treat her right. Treat her better than the best boyfriend ever. She lives for love — and self-love comes first. Be ethical. Have integrity. Take responsibility for your actions. And don’t let people walk all over you. Don’t let them squash you. Stand tall in the face of danger. When you do that, you can fly — high above the mean people. Do otherwise, and you become one. I think the mean people, underneath all of their meanness, are probably very unhappy individuals. They can’t fly. Their bad behavior anchors them to a dark place where misery lives.

Choose to fly, choose LOVE.

#MeanPeopleSuck. #LOVErocks #HonorIsPower

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