Rose-Colored Glasses: A Confession.
Chloe Dykstra
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Wow, there is so much here. You had a “bad boyfriend” experience for sure. But I have to wonder….where was your mom? OR DAD? where were your best (female) friends? what about this woman you said was once “like a sister to you”? What did they say to you about obvious anorexia or a man who compelled you to have sex when you did not want it? Did they tell you to leave or get help? if not — WHY NOT? I know my parents would have hit the roof if they’d seen me starving & pulling my hair out — and confronted the Bad Boyfriend!

My impression is that you are very detailed here about the bad stuff done to you, but NOT about your own motivation/complicity. You didn’t just stumble in this man — he was famous & powerful. You said it wasn’t about money, you paid for dinner. But fame & power are not about ONLY who pays for dinner. Did you live in his posh house? at a time when you could not afford your own place? did he represent a way to get out of your parent’s home? meet famous people and go to cool parties?

Because if not…no, it is not at all clear what you saw in this man. Was he handsome? hot in bed? (I guess not; you dreaded starfish sex with him! did you really not KNOW — a smart, degreed feminist woman in the 21st century — that you were entitled to good sex, or at least not to constant BAD sex? How can a MILLENNIAL not know this?)

You are also not honest why this man CHOSE YOU, instead of an age appropriate partner. You were arm candy, a status symbol. (Your photo shows you are very pretty, not just young, and very thin — high status markers in today’s society.) You had to know he got huge props for having a much younger (skinny, pretty) girlfriend.

There is no indication here you were prohibited from leaving this man by money issues, or isolation, or religion, or young dependent children with him — why didn’t you just WALK AWAY? back to your parent’s home? to a friend? The reason wasn’t this man. It was inside YOU. If you don’t acknowledge it — but instead prefer to “get even” by trashing him on the internet (I personally have no idea who he is)…you have not even come close to solving the personal issues INSIDE YOU…other people do not cause you have anorexia. And why didn’t your mom SAY SOMETHING when this man asked the surgeon “when can he have sex with you again”??? MY MOM would have cold-cocked the bastard.