The Balance
It’s in the blood — A story from the day in the life of a working mom, from 2006
My son ate a blue crayon today.
He’ll be six in June. He is well past crayon eating age. I showed after a busy day at work topped by the typical 40 minute commute to pick him up from school. Before I saw him his classmates told me, “Simon ate a crayon today…a blue one. It was all in his teeth and he had to brush his teeth!”
Well, okay then.
It was frustrating to know that he did this. Non-toxic doesn’t mean “good for you” and the blue streaks on his face were still detectable when we met friends downtown for dinner. When Simon asked for dessert, I told him he’d already eaten it…with a nudge and wink as a reminder: the blue crayon.
He knew he shouldn’t have eaten it. I asked him if he set out to eat a crayon OR if he was working on something else, got lost in his thoughts, and then REALIZED what he’d been doing. “Yes, that last thing.”
He’d just been distracted. My friends were supportive and reassured him that sometimes they chew on a pen without thinking about it. My friends are good with children.
We ran a few errands after dinner, just the two of us. He was unusually active…he was running around the copy store like a maniac. He wanted to help me use the paper cutter and the copier — vigorously — as I tried to carefully copy some version of my dissertation for some now forgotten reason. He dropped stuff, ran into then bounced off walls. It was not a display of patience on behalf of me, the grownup either. I was at my limits with him when we headed home.
As we pulled up to the house I remembered that I had made plans with a neighbor to come over and sit on the front porch and have a beer later in the evening once Simon was asleep around 9pm. I also remembered that needed to fast for 12 hours because I had an 8am routine lab test. Simon listened while I explained to my neighbor that we couldn’t catch up then, because I would need to be fasting. We rescheduled for another time.
Simon was curious about the blood test.
“What do they do?”
“They look at my blood. They want to see if I’m as healthy as I can be.”
“Are you sick?”
“No, sweetie, I’m not, but I can’t eat breakfast in the morning cause it will mess up the test by putting extra things in my body, so please help me remember, OK?”
“OK. (pause) Mom, can I eat breakfast in the morning?”
“Yes, sweet heart, you can. If you eat something, it won’t affect my blood.”
As I stood watching him brush his teeth, I put aside my frustrations and marveled at him. He looked so tall. When we got those footy pajamas as hand-me-downs I thought that he couldn’t possibly get that big…ever. It looked like soon we would be handing them down.
My son: part angel, part comedian, and yes, part maniac. The source of my most trying moments, and the source of my motivation. Silly and funny and uncorked hilarity and the reason I try harder at things than I would if it were just me making my way in the world. My career success pays our way, but one day I want him to understand that my work is not just for money and I want him to feel proud.
I also want him to know that going back to school was hard, but he will always know that education is important, and hard isn’t bad.
After this sentimental lingering and watching his reflection in the mirror, I reminded him to brush extra well to combat the blue wax from earlier that day.
“OK Mama.” He said as he dutifully brushed harder.
No, what he eats for breakfast the next morning or what he might eat during craft time wouldn’t directly affect the chemistry of my blood. It’s true. But to be a parent of any sort to any little creature, you’d swear that your head and your heart and your guts are forever changed by that kind of love.
Humbled by my striving to do it all, I find I rally when sparked by wisdom in the small moments.
